My Broken Mirror

Shifted!

2009-05-11T18:55:00.006+08:00

Hey everyone, i've shifted to

http://www.amifirdaus.blogspot.com/

I couldn't think of a good URL. Anyway this URL will forever be relevant, unless i go legally change my name, which is unlikely. Because my name rocks. I mean, its not like my name is HOE JIAK SHINZ haha. And its the exact same template, same everything, just different URL.

This is mybrokenmirror's last post, so see you on the other side.

imminent rebirth

2009-05-10T02:17:00.004+08:00

4 years with this URL. In sec 2 i created this blog with the intention of pouring out frustration and sadness. Its not emo ok please recognise that when people are hurt, they are not following a trend by pouring out emotions on their blog. I just don't get the people who cut their wrists and stuff. I'd only expect you to do that if your life is tragic. Plus, if you wanna mutilate yourself, you might as well kill yourself. I'd rather you cry it out or talk to somebody about it. SO DON'T SLASH YOUR WRISTS OR SNIFF GLUE, DON'T HARM YOURSELF. I can't believe my sister, who's in P6, has classmates slashing their wrists and sniffing glue. Guess what, they're all malay. Why am i not surprised?

And by tragic, i mean you're a victim of abuse, your parents do drugs, your sister got kidnapped by 369, you look like limsicheng/hojiaxin, and you're in ODAC. now thats tragic. (hahaha sorry ODACians i couldn't resist, but the new batch is more civilised so far)

Okay, i wasn't being serious on the last two things. So, what was i talking about? Oh yeah my URL. I thought of it during an identity crisis, when i was searching for who i was and who my friends were( which at that time i swear i could count with my fingers). Plus, my class was full of heartless dogs, not all of them though.

Okay so, the point is, i wasn't thinking right when i created the URL. Soooooo i'm gonna change it, maybe i keep blogging miserable stuff because i'm subconsciously reminded of sec 2 shit by the URL. will shift to the new URL in a few days. Definitely by next week.

Okay, West Ham are playing like shit, reminds me of how AC demolished the girls. Sorry girls, but its really the truth, that match was heart-wrenching to watch. I pity Robert Green.

Okay time to sleep, long day of studying ahead. Don't laugh, i'm really gonna study.

life's a bitch

2009-05-08T23:24:00.003+08:00

Yes, life is being one at the moment. Problems at home with family, problems in school (and plenty of it), and the only retreat i have is hockey. yes, hockey. I love my stick. Yes, i named it too. But i can't tell you what name it has. but ami, why euuu d0nch wantx 2 tell mie? Well, because i said so, twit. Oh damn sicheng, this is all your fault, its like i have a twit stuck in my head always bugging me. Okay, i need a holiday.

Okay, but on a sidenote, things look good in the new batch of hockey players. I dunno, they have potential and I just feel comfortable around them, despite only having trained with them for two trainings. yes that's a plus in my life. Although i do find myself missing my J2 hockey buddies.

Initially this post was peppered with vulgarities but i decided it was an unnecessary display on teen angst. But i definitely need to blow some steam off from all the shit that has happened.

Its not fair. I want a normal life, normal happy memories, normal hopes for the future.

Can't wait to play hockey again. Okay, goodbye world, i shall wallow in self-pity now.

Oh, did i tell you? SJI, worst four years of my life. Okay to be fair, i actually enjoyed the last year. Oh wait, i didn't. Thanks to RGS people. haha yeah i said it. Thanks KC and IF for helping me relieve my misery during those years at least.

I'm sleepy so it will just have to end here.

I'm a broken heart

2009-05-03T10:16:00.002+08:00

Listening to I'm A Broken Heart and Meteor by the Bird and the Bee, over and over and over again.

I woke up feeling good, but all that changed when i read your blog post.

Its so discouraging; disheartening. You just robbed me of hope. Should i even keep trying?

I think The Fear is not a bad song, but Andrea Anakalia Anatia Lam Wei Xin (woah venga has a new contender) disagrees. Listen to the words and the tune and watch the video, because it took me a while to realise its a satire on materialism. Coming from Lily Allen i find it cool. And she looks amazing except for the clothes and the fact that she gained weight. But those are minor anyway. But she can't beat the Bird and the Bee, though she's getting closer and maturing as an artist. haha look at the shit i just typed.

ARGH Econs. And a geog test to study for. AND MATHS. oh shit, i'm dead.

flames to dust

2009-05-02T12:26:00.003+08:00

haha so much for killing PJ, we only drew with them.

And we lost to CJ 1-0.

But we put up a good fight, we could all feel it.

Team AJC 2008-2009, the best team i've ever had the pleasure and honour to be part of. (:

"I LOVE YOU GUYS"

- Edmund Wong

well said. haha.

I don't think trainings can ever be the same anymore. Gonna miss all of you. :/

I'm hoping that one day in the future, after we all graduate, we'll have many chances to cross paths once more, and even better perhaps, be able to play a game of hockey. Like when we're in our thirties or smth. Because i simply refuse to accept the fact that this team's journey together has ended.

There was an even better line that Edmund said, and it just resonated inside when i read it, how true it was. That moment might just be the finest moment in my screwed up life.

Its all just so bittersweet. Like a captivating concoction of feelings inside me taking over, as i just immerse myself with the memories made with these hockey dogs.

well, all good things come to an end, i guess? Or is it just that bitch Nelly Furtado in my head again.

and now i feel so insecure thinking about the road ahead without you guys.

dammit look at all the homework i have.

We're gonna kill PJ

2009-04-26T09:53:00.004+08:00

the match against PJC is tmr. And i'm damn worried for the mids and the postmen. The amount of stress i'm feeling now is a hell lot. There's also the monstrous pile of homework i have yet to do, because i'm totally focused on A'divs and i've only been doing Econs work because my Econs teacher is a witch. And my ankle hurts but its better than right after the SA game.

Oh yeah, we lost to SAJC 3-0. And despite comments that we played well, i really beg to differ. Maybe they didn't see what i saw. I was quite pissed la, but seeing a certain somebody starting to emo after the match, the angry feeling just got washed away, by the waves of concern. We really have to support each other now, on pitch and off pitch. Its not like you guys have another A'div tournament to look forward too. Make this one count.

Training yesterday, i felt, was damn wasted, because i was really tired from playing at NYP the night before.

I don't see the burning desire to win in the team. I honestly don't. I see a hunger for personal glory in some, and plain indifference in some. It annoys me, though there are some who want this as badly as i do. Things i say fall on deaf ears. I emphasised the importance of double team tackling before the SA match, and no one except me and chun yang were doing it during the match. What is that? seriously. You guys were just falling like dead flies whenever they attacked. And the defence kept having to clear the ball out of our quarter. Its even more sucky when they score from short corners, because i can't do much to stop it since i'm not in there defending.

FOCUS, everyone. I don't wanna see the same mistakes for the PJ match. We can win PJ. Put your heart and soul (and some brains please) into the match guys. I'm going to scream into your heads if you don't focus.

And it sucks even more when i don't think things will work out with you. Its been quite some time now. Maybe i should just stop trying and kill my hopes.

And home doesn't feel like home. I really hope i don't carry this mood into the match tmr.

Hug me, somebody. I'm falling apart.

breakaway

2009-04-19T15:08:00.002+08:00

This is for you, SJI.

Trying hard to reach out
But when i tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
so i prayed
i could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till i touch the sky
I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
and breakaway

out of the darkness and into the sun
But i won't forget all the ones that i love

I'm so glad i'm not in that school anymore.
AJC has relatively been such a lovely place compared to SJI.
Only God knows how much i really cherish my hockey team.

Oh we won NJC 2-0 recently. I scored the first goal! hahaha and assisted the second. Felt so good. But others didn't. So all in all, it wasn't such a great day. And the girls got pummeled by NJ, so yeah. happiness alone is not happiness at all. I mean, if you're a person who really cherishes friendship like it was life support.

Oh and Victor Leong Hoi Chuen (there, i mentioned your name haha) was instrumental in setting up the first goal, after he reverse hit towards goal, and jeremy deflected it. But it was still going out so i scored with a deft deflection to bring AJC 1-0 up against NJC.

How i wish this could repeat itself against SAJC. The match is in two days.

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy

Sorry, memories on replay, i can't help but feel so down.

200th post

2009-04-12T18:30:00.008+08:00

wow 200th post. Took me four years on this blog to reach this many posts haha.

Yeah anyway, yesterday was quite a crazy day. Ran like dogs for warm-up, and when we thought it was over, oh man we ran again. This time slowly haha. Skills training was frustrating. I was damn tired from the running and couldn't focus at first, and got scolded. I started beating myself up inside for not performing, though i was trying my best. But the emo bug ran away soon enough. I was quite contented with my hits and reverse hits yesterday. (:

Now everyone thinks Venga ate the rojak. Okay random. Get well soon eh friend!

Anyway went to let loose with Mona and friends in town after that on her birthday haha. omg. We ate dessert at Breeks and it was hell good. yumm. A bit too sweet for my liking but good. I love the lasagna there, i've only eaten it twice. But yesterday i found it a bit too salty. anywayyy i hope miss mona had a good time! because i left early for the bbq.

The food wasn't fantastic but the company was great. Until a few started getting drunk. It all went down from there la. :/

What our captain said, even in that state of mind, resonated inside of me. I've always thought that not all of us are trying our best or are committed enough. I get pissed at people on the pitch for not performing to a certain standard all the time, but i hope you guys knows that off pitch, i have no problems with anyone at all.

Girl's A'div match is in 2 DAYS and guy's A'div match is in 9 DAYS.

On a lighter note;

err.. we're not from hockey, we're from ODAC

the joker Brendon decided to wear one of the ghost costumes while we were preparing for the haunted house and he even put a bottle in the dress to make it look like he has b3wbs. haha.

I blinked! damn.

And if that doesn't make your day....

WILD JIAKSHINZ APPEARED!

A perennial favourite to always cheer you up. haha. Visit lostsoulxcapin for more LOLjiakshinz pictures

Time to breathe

2009-04-05T21:09:00.003+08:00

I am so lazy to blog. But blog i shall.

Today was the Family Day thing, and it was okay la. Personally i didn't really enjoy it thaaaaaat much, because i was quite busy scaring people over and over inside for what seemed like an eternity. Running a haunted house is no mean feat okay. AND LIM SI LUT i managed to scare Venga okay! hahaha. Venga was so weird la, crawling on the floor, and the ghosts must have went wtf is he doing?!

Okay but on a more serious note, someone needs to discipline ODACians. They were making such a fool of themselves and being a danger to the ghosts when they were inside. Super childish. Seriously damn pissing off. And there was an unusually high number of people who hit my fellow ghosts. Seriously what is wrong with people. Oh but the demand for the haunted house was crazy. We were barely coping with the monstrous queue outside la. and our resources were strained like crazy. But we pulled through. Good job 35!

Oh and then after that i was about to go home when i met aida while walking to the interchange. We both didn't wanna go home yet so we decided to just go to town and walk around. haha. First time i went to town and didn't spend man. Because the school sucked my money. I had a great time, seriously. Its quite uncanny how many similarities there are between my family and Aida's. And we talked about everything man. Okay almost everything. JIAXINZ we talked about you too! haha. How your ugliness is the single most pervading aspect of life in AJC. HEH no la. How can we say that about our favourite unglam queen? (:

Just reached home, less than an hour ago.

I am worried sick about the hockey team. Worried like you'll never know. Well also worried for myself. I hate how complicated my problems are nowadays.

haha, my fellow classmate Dinah also had a good time in town today. With um........ nevermind. HAHAHA. (:

I can't wait for our last pitch training! SOFA KING PUMPED UP MAN. hahaha

bad day

2009-03-30T21:45:00.003+08:00

Oh man. Today has been a horrible day. Everything went wrong. The only thing that was right and good was the friends that kept me company throughout. I'm really starting to like 3509. ahaha. Oh but mention Econs tutorial, and I'll explode in your face. like seriously man, my Econs teacher has got a problem with me. She makes me seem like such a bad influence and she watches what i do in lectures and scolds me about the things i do in lectures. Do you have nothing better to do? And why me?

And then the whole hockey thing today, was just a mess la. But the team needed that wake up call. I'm still a bit shaken by it.

and Azfar, being his annoying self, kinda pissed me off on the bus ride home. Well Azfar, to tell you the truth, you are bloody hell annoying, but you're a good person i guess. Just that sometimes you're annoying at the wrong time.

Today just seems to be Piss Ami Off Day! ~yay~

I have to clear all the things i owe by this week or else. I can't bear not playing for the team. I don't even care if it doesn't show on my SGC, i wanna complete the journey with this wonderful batch of hockey players by fighting alongside them in the penultimate test of our ability as a team to play hockey. I glorify A'divs so much man, sounds like some freedom war la. haha.

But it is what it is. A final fight. Guys, please make it a good and concerted one. I beg you. Put aside your sportsman ego and for once, play for AJC hockey instead of yourself.

C'mon, our motto isn't Non Mihi Solum for nothing.

(oh shit how cheesy hahaha)

Misery loves company

2009-03-21T17:35:00.006+08:00

i was extremely sick this morning. Not surprised, seeing i've been training three days in a row, despite intense heat and humidity, surrounded by an assortment of sick hockey players. SPOILT FOR CHOICE. oooh should i get the flu or the cough? Or both HEEHEEHEE but I feel much better now. Still sick though. This morning i found it damn hard to talk because my throat and nasal passage was clogged with evil phlegm. And it freaking hurt. So i didn't go for the class outing. I feel bad. Sorry guys. Anyway,

I HAVE NOT FINISHED MY HOMEWORK.

alamakxz.

OOH VJ match is so close! Exciting. PLEASE PLEASE, i'm praying i don't have to play keeper. I mean i never wanted to, but because i play keeper in soccer for 99.999999% of the time, Ms Tay kinda asked me to be the back up keeper. I have repeatedly tried to pull out, but to no avail. Plus I feel bad for declining the job, when the whole team needs a keeper to guard the goal.

Seeing that AJC's very own Jesus (our keeper Jon because he always saves, hahahahaha what a saviour) has a piano exam on the day of the big match with hockey titans VJC, us minnows need to find a replacement. :/ shiiiit who la dey?!
I think i'm developing a crush on a girl in school. arghhh why now.
Sigh. Damn sad, season will end in slightly more than a month's time. Then after that? Life will be a mere shell of its former self, devoid of the vitality and camaraderie of the team that i have grown so fond of.

Lets do well for A'divs, so that these unforgettable memories will never fade, even long after we part ways. Its like a tribute. yes. (:

ho chak de AJC hockey

2009-03-16T13:45:00.005+08:00

(Before i begin, JEREMY! euuu mustxz recubber fastfast wan h0rxzxz, we nid euuu bAhxzxz. LOL this is all sicheng's fault)

I MISS CAMP ALREADY MAN. It felt awkward not sleeping in school. heh at the same time it felt like a dream sleeping on my bed again. soooo comfortable. I fell asleep the second i touched my bed upon reaching home. Slept like 8 hours, woke up at midnight to wash my camp clothes and bathe, then watch Aston Villa lose to Tottenham 2-0, before sleeping again. Yeah i was that tired. haha.

The camp made me cherish my teammates more, and my place in this team of dreamers.

I must regain Ms Tay's trust. ): I dare not even type it, what happened. But despite the misunderstanding, Ms Tay will always have the last say. And i must adhere. Maybe this is a test, a test of my passion for playing hockey for this team and just how much i cherish my place on it.

HAHA sicheng is a loser la. the whole scene of him flagging a bus and turning around to say bye to us, only to turn back and see the bus nonchalantly charging past him, splashing lots of water onto the pavement he was standing on. OWNED man. ahaha.

Guys had like 3 friendlies the past week, against NJC, AJ seniors and JJC. The girls played NJC and PJC.

We lost to NJC 1-0 because of a last minute goal. This was despite the fact that we basically owned the whole game. Seriously, i can say that 75% of the game was in NJ's half. Because of a collective mistake on the defence's part, we conceded one right before the final whistle. ): I felt super guilty. oh well.

We drew with the seniors 0-0, and i think this was our best game yet. We gave it all we had, attrition and determination painted so vividly on our faces throughout the game. I finally did a hit from from the 16-yard area( yay) although the other 16-yard sweeps and pushes were crap. Must work on my pushes. really.

And we won JJC 2-0. We were definitely the better side, but the game still showed our lack of finishing. And in the second half, we were collapsing. Not because the JJ team was unrelentingly attacking us, but because cof communication breakdown and flaring tempers of some of us. I think i did a lot though in this match because JJ liked to attack through the middle, and i had to do quite a few C-runs.

Now i don't know if i should go for malay camp. Got training 3 days in a row that coincides with it. No way in hell am i missing training but i dunno about sleeping over for the malay camp. My parents might also dislike the idea of me leaving for camp again just after returning from one.

I think the girls lost to NJC 3-0 or 2-0 and drew with PJ 1-1. haha. yes.

That's pretty much it la. I should finish my homework within these few days so that i can go all out for training the rest of the week. Yes, i want it that badly. CJ, SA and PJ might be in for a surprise. But we have to work hard to make it happen.

CHAK DE AJC! lol

Halim sucks

2009-03-08T12:42:00.003+08:00

this blog is dying, its purpose slowly eroding with each succesive wave of self-rediscovery. Yet slowly gaining life post by post.

I first created this blog so that there was a place i could always go to after school to pour out my woes. Life simply isn't that shitty anymore, much better than the 109/209 days. For the first time in years i actually feel a sense a self-worth.

Okay whatever haha. I have tutorials to do for Geog, Lit and Maths, so i can't blog much. Plus friendlies are coming in, against NJC this coming wednesday and against J3s this coming Friday(?). And VJC on the 24th. The life of a hockey player is truly one of attrition, perseverance and determination. And of course culminating in an everlasting brotherhood.

Plus its just damn exciting and fun when you play, especially in friendlies.

all that= LESS BLOGGINGZXZXZ

which explains the recent stagnant state of this blog. okay, i should go do my tutorials now. Don't expect an update anytime soon!

OH YEAH i got A for malay! yay. despite only getting a pass for oral. I shall never forget how the stupid examiner fell asleep and her stupid snoring face made me laugh uncontrollably for about 3 seconds, drawing a challenging look from her counterpart.

sicheng i wanna play squakey again prix. damn fun hahaha but not for my stick. poor stick. battleworn and bruised by the red track.

Okay okay now i really need to go off and do them tutorials.

Yeah halim sucks.

sojourn of memories

2009-02-25T04:27:00.007+08:00

And so, in a month's time comes the test of our hockey abilities, and teamwork. And after that?

As i comtemplate in front of the computer screen, i cannot help but feel so helpless, in a sense that i can only sit and watch while these amazing hockey teammates of mine graduate and leave. And i am left(with Brendon, at least got him sia haha) with more than a year of studying in this college.

What does that all mean when this batch of hockey players have shown and reminded me that school isn't all bad when you have great company to slog it out with and play like mindless idiots afterwards in a pathetic D?

I don't know. Although i'd like to. Because uncertainty is an enemy so great, that it robs me of self-confidence before the test even begins.

And while some teammates have grown much closer than others, I'll just thank you all, for this great journey we have undertaken, and for restoring the self-confidence and self-esteem in what was once a battered soul yearning for true acceptance. Oh man, the shit i went through in SJI has been offset, although painful memories linger.

I will never regret going to AJC man. (:

SIGH WHY SO EMO LA. gotta prepare for school in a hour. Shall read geog notes then. :0 i'm doing the twister thing today .

And that is that.

time for a haircut?

2009-02-17T20:29:00.003+08:00

ughhhh i'm sick. I HATE BEING SICK MAN argh

no mood to blog really, just thought i should update, seeing that the last update was damn long ago. School has been okay la. I get tired easily though. I think its cos i'm sick.

I think i'll miss AJC when i graduate. not for the school or anything, but i find that i've bonded much more with friends here than in SJI. Other than Kumz Club la. Kumz Club will always be Kumz Club.

Okay gonna read geog notes, maybe do some maths. dunno la.

Stupid Schoolhouse Rock.

Training tmr, and with no MC i think i'm gonna die. oh well.

Too many tags la, can i just say HELLO TO ALL WHO TAGGED!

Lets hope the next trainiung won't be as glommy as the previous one. Trainings tend to be gloomy nowadays. Sigh, there goes the reason i come to school for.

Okay la not gloomy, just, boring and dead.

let us all have beef hearts

2009-02-08T12:33:00.010+08:00

haha its been awhile since i've blogged. So many tags haha. k. hmm where shall i start.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sicheng:
but you gotta admit that one-handed reverse sweep was equally unprofessional! haha at least Venga didn't give away the ball. haha

syamira:
Yup of course they do, with people like Venga, Kevin and Sonia in your class, of course. haha.

shahidah:
haha yes because your bimbo moments were simply unforgettable. xD Nope, i think i'm more to blur than that.

jaswin:
hahaha i wonder if she was always a bimbo even in Anderson Sec. hahaha. BIMBO TO THE MAX IS RIGHT. hahaha

angela:
hey! yup, she's the ultimate bimbo. haha

sonia:
hmm you sure? HAHA k lah you're a girl okay. yes, sweet squash playing girl who bribes J1s into thinking she's nice. hahahaha

dominic:
Of course i know! Your tag was such a giveaway! I'm not sure who's Innova 20 though, i think its your captain. haha. No no, only the IJ CB is an ugly loser, unlike the cool, handsome AJ CB. HAHAHA no la kidding snow white.

delima:
hahaha yeah, thats Shahidah for you! hahaha. no la she's intelligent, although it doesn't seem so on my blog. heh. It just so happened she was damn bimbotic on that day. haha.

aisha:
what! i wanna stay in Jaguar you know, now i'm in ugly lousy Puma. UGHH at least cougar la, why puma! ):

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Training was a killer yesterday, probably because we just had training the day before. Venga and Kevin are retards hahahahaa.

Venga and his spaghetti/tamil nadu, Kevin and his dice rolling. hahaha inside story la, doesn't make sense at all for those who weren't there. hahahaha. I can't remember much of the week, because i was always in such a daze, it was so boring. Friday was the only day i could call fun. haha. Okay and wednesday, since there was the whole CCA Carnival.

i'm glad i have people whom i can let loose with, my friends. Without them i'd probably have quit JC by now. It's a tough life.

i'm in 35!

PUMA SUCKS. how i wish i could remain in Jaguar.

chapter two

2009-02-03T21:24:00.005+08:00

Matriculation week is so damn boring! I've already sent in my appeal form to switch to Arts from Science. whoohoo yeah.

My MG is kinda lifeless, but i guess thats how an MG should be. Its like only for a week. haha. At least there's Shahidah in my MG! haha speaking of Shahidah, i didn't know she was so bimbo! haha i remember clearly two bimbo moments.

Moment #1:
(We were reading a prospectus on NUS courses and then she came across something which says:"requires H2 Physics" and it had a footnote.)

Shahidah: Ami! what's Physics squared?!
Me: uhh look down... its a FOOTNOTE. Never take PW ah. haha
Shahidah: -bursts into laughter*
Me: HAHA damn bimbo

Moment #2:
(While reading the prospectus, we noticed that some courses stated an O'level pass in A Maths as a prerequisite and started talking about our O'level maths grades)

Me: What you get for A Maths?
Shahidah: Oh i got A2! I studied damn hard
Me: Oh, i got B3. But i got A1 for E.
Shahidah: English?
Me: NO LA E-MATHS! HAHA. we're talking about maths remember?!
Shahidah: OH YA HAHA
Me: HAHA i'm gonna blog this

lol haha the two of us and Khai have been lepakingz together and talking about anything under the sun, from religion to the J1s this year. haha.
There's only 17 malays this year! 11 in Science, 6 in Arts.

Yes you read correctly, more in Science. hmm. weird.

And, I DO NOT LAUGH LIKE A GOOF!

retarded sicheng and his "STOP TEENKING I AM EMOX! I AM NORT EMOX! *sniffsx* " hahahaaa go go read his stupid blog, it might as well be the BBC of AJC. hahahaha. His dumb twit lingo makes you erupt into mindless laughter.

CCA Carnival tmr! And i freaking didn't know till this afternoon. I asked the malay J1s to join hockey but the Unity Sec guy wants to join soccer and the other two didn't show much interest. haha. DAMN LA our soccer is like..... sigh won't comment i think Halim and Fauzi could possibly read this. ahaha. sedihnye kene pergi sama sekolah dgn korang dua. HAHA no la, but Fauzi kinda scares me sometimes, the way he asks questions. haha.

Chinese lesson was fun today! I thought the teacher asked me to bend down but she said pen down. the whole class laugh at me la. haha. yeah.

WO HEN RE BITCHEZ. alright time to hit the sack! big day tmr.

We're on our way

2009-02-01T16:05:00.004+08:00

Yes people i'm back home from the family chalet thing. Full of funny retarded stuff.

I got Level 11.3 for the beep test on Friday! even though there was a 1m error in the distance.
Yeah. huge improvement in stamina. whoohoo. Venga and Kevin, being the dogs of AJ hockey, got 14.5 and 16.1 respectively. that's crazy.

So now come the most interesting part. Yesterday AJ had a hockey friendly against IJ. again. Although it was the girls' first time playing against them.

Girls':

AJC 0
IJC 2
(not too sure about this score, didn't watch the second half)

Guys':

AJC 0
IJC 0

Yeah we drew with IJ again. We improved again from the last match, we could sense it by the end of the first half and coach confirmed it at the end. haha also this encounter was way more intense and physical than the last. I was really really really fixated on closing Zaky down everytime he attempted to hit one into the D or dribble in. Him and that other guy. haha.

Despite the fact that the pitch was in bloody NTU and might as well have been in Malaysia (okay an exaggeration fine), I think i like that pitch best out of all the pitches i've been to. And yes, Venga played and we didn't lose! GASP

We almost scored! darn. It was the best game i've ever played in. It was a battle fought hard and well. The IJ team is a nice bunch of guys and girls. and Zaky, IJ number 2, was checking out AJ girls haha. especially Nina

Anyways i'm happy about the way we played. I do think i could have played better though. And that retarded Sicheng once desperately scampered over and did a reverse sweep with one hand to send out the ball which infiltrated deep into our quarter. Only thing was, the nearest Innovian was like a million kiliometres away. TSK. Nice one la. haha

haha yes, we're on our way to A'div, finally.

School tmr oh yeah oh yeah. I'll be busy entertaining the new intake of my fan club in AJ so yeah, won't be blogging much. LOL no la, kidding. but yeah i will be blogging less. from now on.

finally

2009-01-27T20:30:00.004+08:00

finally finally, training tmr! And dinner with a very good friend i've known for about 11 years. haha i'm freaking excited somehow. Maybe its because this boring boring holiday is finally ending. My chinese teacher promised to give the whole class hong baos haha how nice of her man.

I think i'm gonna be broke this week. lol. My dad is playing a football match for his company team now. Haha the team not bad sia, one of his colleagues is even an ex-national striker from the 90s. haha. I hope he wins, so that he'll be in a good mood. which means i can ask for MOOOOOLAH. hahahaha yeah i only get money for eating and so i have to ask for money if its for stuff. Yeah most of the time they'll give the money la, albeit reluctantly. Plus they'll be nagging and all. Then my dad will go all "we're poooor you know"

I understand we're not filthy rich, but we are definitely not poor with what we have. If he keeps saying it one day it might just happen. And ironically thats what he'd always tell me, when i say pessimistic stuff. haha.

I CAN'T WAIT TO HIT BALLS.

Speaking of which, VENGA HAS FLUFFY BOLLZ. HAHA that came from this crazyfunnyinsane msn conversation i had with Shaun, Venga, Kevin and some unimportant fag, um whats his name.... oh right Sicheng. HAHA kidding la. My mum thought i was insane because i was having laughing fits in front of the com.

Thats just MSN. the goons are even funnier and give me great company in real life.

hmm i think i'll go get some juice now, because juice rocks. Stay in school, mats&minahs!

a boring cny holiday

2009-01-26T16:13:00.006+08:00

Because Iqbal tagged me and what the heck i'm really bored so....

QUIZ!

1: Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
The part of the neck right below the jaw haha. yeah. what are you thinking hmm? guys shut up. girls, take note. HAHA :P nah you can put away that notebook and pen.

2: How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
Sleepy? duh

3: Who was the last person you took a photo with?
I think it was umm. my sister i think?

4: Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Nope

5: Would you ever donate blood?
Yeah sure

6: Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
YEAH =D i still do. lol.

7: Do you want someone dead?
haha next question please, so not telling. duh

8:What does your last text message say?
did you manage to book a pitch?

9:What are you thinking of right now?
hockey

10: Do you wish someone was with you right now?
yeah.

11: What time did you go to sleep last night?
2 am. Well its this morning then right. lol.

12: Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
I think this shirt was a gift from my father's friend.

13: Is someone on your mind right now?
yeah

14: Who was the last person to text you?
AZFARAGUS

10PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUIZ: (if you want)
1) Tzuling
2) Iqbal
3) Sonia
4) Kesaven
5) Aida
6) Sicheng
7) Kumz
8) Hani
9) Jaswin
10) Jermaine

15: Who is 2 having a relationship with? (Iqbal)
his kampong TJ? haha he's single la. ahem thats a cue to the ladies out there. haha

16: Is 3 a male or a female? (Sonia)
SHIT THIS IS A HARD ONE SIA. i think female. I THINK. HAHA

17: If 7 and 10 get together will that be a good thing? (Kumz & Jermaine)
Kumz will eat the baby. so NO. haha. would be one of the funniest couples ever though

18: What is Number 1 studying about? (Tzuling)
Arts (Geog, Lit, Econs, H1 maths, right?)

19: When was the last time you had a chat with them?
last night? who the hell is them? all 10?

20: Is Number 4 single? (Kesaven)
haha no, he's attached to one of the craziest girls i've ever met. HAHA. don't kill me!

21: Say something about Number 2. (Iqbal)
He's too skinny. hahaha no la he's a great friend! (: who should have come to AJ! ): lol

22: What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together? (Sonia & Sicheng)
hmm? not bad i'd say. but nah, they don't even know each other. haha. Sicheng too ugly anyway. HAHA kidding lah.

23: Describe Number 9. (Jaswin)
SLIM and choreographs well. HAHA. She's a very nice person. (:

24: What will you do if Number 6 and 7 fight? (Sicheng & Kumz)
LOL i will sell tickets to the show man. haha. Sicheng will just break in half if it happens. hahaha

25: Do you like Number 8? (Hani)
Oh that makcik. Yeah, as a friend la. 5 years of friendship and counting. (:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who came up with these quizzes? haha whoever it was, thanks for helping me kill like 5 to 10 minutes of boredom. sigh.

Hockey please ):

I just realised i tagged Iqbal back. and i also realised i tagged some people that he tagged. aiya whatever i hope no one is crazy or retarded enough to do it twice. haha.

a dance to remember

2009-01-24T17:35:00.005+08:00

Malay Dance at AJC CNY Celebrations 2009

I think this can be considered as one of the most eye-opening malay dances i have seen. Because its different. It has this modern touch to it. You'll be amazed to know this really good performance(in my opinion) was choreographed by Syafiqah and Jaswin, not some professional choreographer. yes, you read it correct. haha.

great job, malay dancers! The many hours put in for dance practice has finally paid off, and paid off well.

damn lah, i am in dire need of playing hockey. argh

Aida and i were actually thinking of booking a pitch, since most people in this Chinese-dominated city state are gettin' their gong xi fa cai on. Therefore by logic, telling us that most pitches should be free over the CNY holiday! haha AIDA SHALL WE?

But we don't even know how to book a pitch or the rates of booking one. haha and no, the SHF website doesn't have the information.

how now brown cow? Which reminds me, gonna go eat beef burger now. haha.

get a grip

2009-01-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

yesyesyes, finally got a new hockey stick grip. Now all i have to do is ask Saiful to help me with using the new grip on my stick. FINALLY! Went to Peninsula with the AJ malay guys and uh, some chinese guy la. not important la he. He just help us carry our bags. Because we are rockstars.

HAHA kidding la, Sicheng came because he needed a new grip also. haha. yeah. we both got black grips. I kinda wanted green heh but i would stick out real bad if i did. haha. Some people say its being unique, but i prefer not to grab attention. haha.

anyway, today was the CNY concert in AJ and i have to say, it wasn't half bad. The malay dance wasn't too bad either. Yknow, something different. It was fresh. I like. The way they moved their hips was really cooool. hahaha. ahem. Jaswin lost 10 kg, and it really showed when she was dancing, like whoa its Jaswin.

I WANT TO PLAY HOCKEY, LIKE FREAKING BADLY

i can't wait till next Wednesday! MONDAY?! argh wait everyone's down with xing nian kuai le fever. noooooooo. ):

haha mum says she'll pay for my grip. whooohoo. And sicheng, my language is not broken la!

torn

2009-01-22T00:01:00.004+08:00

hmm. today's(actually yesterday since its past midnight) training was interesting to say the least. I must say though that i wasn't feeling like myself today. but i wasn't really aware that it was obvious until Venga asked why i'm so emo. nah, i wasn't sad, its just one of those days, when you just think too much about things and it affects the rest of the day, yknow? :/ thanks for asking though.

History or Lit? or maybe i'll ditch geog? ahh dunno la. hmm.

Venga was such an idiot today, with his "ami firda-wussss" haha but he's almost always like that haha. damn you Venga, i'll get you back! Maybe i'll talk to Tracy in front of you or smth hahaha and you'll ask me to back off or smth haha. TELL THAT GAUTAM TO HEAL HIS ANKLE QUICK! see what happens when you listen to Halim. haha. you jump off stuff and screw up your ankle. Halim, oh Halim. Taking down your competition eh?

THE HOCKEY GUYS TORE MY UNDERWEAR HAHA. It was a weird experience i swear. It doesn't hurt really after a while. haha. Its just weird. But some girl thinks it sounds fun. AHEM. hamstercock was driving his knee into my ass wth. My birthday was last year leh, okay we tear Chun Yang next. I am so going to tear everyone who tore me, on their birthday. And Sicheng too, because its not fair you didn't get torn last year! NOT FAIR NOT FAIR WAAAAA. lol okay whatever. Then Shaun did some low rugby tackle on me hahahaha basically it was insane. It wasn't horrible at all, just feels like you entered some different dimension for a while. Does this even make sense? i am so full of it.

Actually a lot of you guys didn't get torn! EH WHAT IS THIS MAN, i'm going to change that.

I should be hitting myself for saying this, but i'm kinda relieved that i don't have to do Science and A'levels this year. Doing Science has been like living a lie. I have always loved the humanities. But when your parents think Science is the ONLY way to University, well, there's not much you can do. Unless you're a mat and you don't listen. But heck, whats a mat doing in upper end JCs anyway. No offence but mats are just wasting their time and tarnishing the malay name for people like me. Oh wait, yeah i did mean offence. hah. See, no mats in AJ! Its not like i'm making this up what.

I'm just feeling sour. Yes thats the word. maybe it's regret thats bugging me? Thank god my hockey teammates are great, if not, i would have probably gone to Ngee Ann Polytechnic by now. haha. Its really because of hockey that i'm staying.

ami firda-wusss. hah. up yours, MOE!

chiobooze

2009-01-19T22:33:00.006+08:00

hahaha dunno what title to put la, so i just put that, since its stuck in my head. haha.

haha well, training was fun, as usual. No surprise there. lol. I scored the only and winning goal against Kevin's team. haha yes Kevin told me to say that i dribbled past him during the match. haha. But sorry Kevin, the other stuff tooo juicy man!

haha okay so after training, usual makan session la. Its damn funny with Kevin and Venga there already, imagine how awesomely hilarious it would have been with Shaun there. haha. so yeah, those two indian boyz were cracking jokes and retelling hilarious class moments. haha then you should have seen Kevin when we were talking about Sonia, defensive sia. "you don't talk about MY ONE ah" hahaha! my one, guess who la. haha. No prizes for guessing.

Haha. Venga, don't be(or act) shy around Tracy la. haha. You should have seen how turned on Tracy was at the idea of Venga being a pole for Zhiwei to pole dance on. HAHA. she was saying "yeeaaaaaaah" in some sedated voice haha. See, she likes you too! hahahahahhaa i'm such an asshole hahaha.

Then i forgot the rest, there was loads of funny shit. hah. never laugh like that for quite a while. Staying at home isn't exactly full of funny moments. I think the last time was the BBQ, that i laughed that hard. haha or maybe after the match against IJ. whatever, hockey guys just rock my hockey socks, period.

Brendon(haha funny guy) was saying how beautiful the sky was, and i said "don't crap la" but when i looked up, seriously, its magnificent. How the stratus clouds seem to stretch beautifully across the crimson sky, it looked like heaven was right above the clouds.

I'll take this as a sign of hope for things to come. :D

oracleprophet haha Venga is one funny piece of shit.

Chinese tmr haha i'm gonna crash again because its actually damn fun. okay better sleep now. bye.

(if you're an AJ hockey guy or girl, add me on msn quickquick before you get swamped by the stupid A'levels. haha. my email is Skyrider_510@hotmail.com .)

boredom does things to you

2009-01-18T18:13:00.003+08:00

i am freaking bored.

i wish i lived right next to a hockey pitch. wouldn't it be amazing if there was a condo somewhere with a hockey pitch? haha i would definitely want to move there. But few malays live in condos. haha. Maybe near Delta! but it doesn't look like a nice place to live. haha.

I wanna play hockey NOW!

Did you know that Singapore once reached the top 8 for Men's Olympic Hockey Finals in the eighties? wow haha.

And today, Singapore stands at 43rd in the world, just below Sri Lanka. And 10th in Asia. Damn even Hong Kong is better. haha. but its odd to see Singapore ranked higher than teams like Brazil and Paraguay. I know its not soccer, but its still a sport! I always thought that Singapore sucks at whatever sport unless its water-based or its something dominated by Chinese(we all know why la). Bowling and shooting are exceptions! although bowling is one of the least physical sports out there. same goes for shooting i guess?

While bored'ol amifirdaus was searching for hockey videos (and damn did he find some good ones), he came across this weird sport called underwater hockey. damn weird. there's also unicycle hockey. even underwater rugby. haha. this world must be ending soon or smth.

speaking of good hockey videos, there were some really good ones. I love watching reverse hits, somehow its really awesome, i wish i could pull that off. thats what training is for eh.

I wonder if we can watch the Junior Hockey World Cup on TV, since Singapore is co-hosting it.

okay i wanna get a drink. THIRSTY SIOL. hahaha matrep ami. exists in a world where the moon is blue and chickens have dissolved in our seas to create vast oceans of chicken stock.

Don't ask why.

progress

2009-01-17T16:53:00.007+08:00

wow i'm really tired. okay.

Yesterday, had a game theory lesson, and then we did suicides, sprints(i didn't do this cos i can't sprint due to injury) and finally 2.4 km run. while i did shave a minute off my timing, its still not a good timing. argh. 4 people overtook me on the last round! ): shouldn't have slowed down on the last round.

Then came push-ups, bridges, lunges and pull-ups. My chest felt so tight after all this crap. I think its actually working. haha. speaking of tight chests, Miz's chest is like a rock!. No a boulder, no no two boulders. They're freaking big and hard when he flexed them. siao.

We didn't get to play. ): That was the end of that. After the usual after-training makan session with the hockey guys, went grocery shopping with mum and then went home after a light dinner at Macs. That was yesterday.

okay, so today, i woke up at 5+ am to go Delta pitch for friendly. and somebody was 37 minutes late even though we were meeting at the bus stop right in front. haha.

6.00am
Me: Azfar, lets meet at the bus stop at 6.30 okay
Azfar: okay

6.47am
Azfar: Eh ami, i tertido laaaa. now wearing baju. sorry sorry
Me: argh, ok nvm just come now

7.00am
Azfar: I can't find my black socks!
Me: OMG RUSH, NOW

And he came down at 7.07 am. haha so we were late, had to run ten rounds, 4 rounds extra as punishment. damn. haha. daaaaamn you azfar.

Girls played against JJC first, followed by the guys against IJC.

Girls':

AJC 2
JJC 0

Guys':

AJC 0
IJC 0

haha yeah, our first clean sheet, and our first point out of a friendly! We have earned this. :D

heehee I felt so accomplished when i did a C-run out of the D and did a reverse sweep down the left to Kevin. Must understand la, i only played for one year. haha. I'm still not fluid as a hockey player, i must gain more confidence with the ball. I think playing stopper is kinda fun heh. koolzxz.

well, i'm just happy. and tired. gonna sleep if i can now, there's the restless feeling that often prevents me from sleeping.

OH WAIT Kevin was freaking funny today during our makan session. haha daaaamn funny. with the high pitched haaaaaaaaaaaa sound. hahaha. And he made one of the faces that Venga normally makes HAHA omg exactly the same haha so we all laugh laugh laugh. i see, somebody sitting behind Tracy during lecture ah hahahaha.

I think Venga is like a bad luck charm, so far we only lose when Venga plays. HAHA technically true, but i'm kidding la, there was a lack of jinking today. haha. next match better come ah Venga! You should have shared with us the spoils of our joy. Well it was more of a feeling of accomplishment than joy la. but yeah.

oh and we know our A'div group already. it's drawing nearer and nearer.

In the sun lies our fate,
In the stars, our destiny.
In the moon, our hopes,
In the sky, our dreams.

There for the taking,
But distant all the same.

woah its thursday

2009-01-15T20:55:00.010+08:00

The Bird and the Bee - Love Letter to Japan

yay latest song from the Bird and the Bee to be released, off their latest album Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future. Its supposed to be released this month. Yeah like i'll buy it my mum will rip me to shreds and never give me money again. ): I think the video sucks though. Her lamp shade dress is cool.

argh my sister is driving me nuts. She's only 11 and she acts like she owns the house. I reallllly wanted to give her one sedap smack to the face la, her mouth is like some torture weapon. She's damn rude. argh it seriously irks me.

minah in training. well well, you'll learn someday. I hope.

I'm weak sometimes. I can't give up so easily next time. Must work harder during training. Must have the right mentality during training. Felt like dying la, and it was only 6 rounds. Maybe it was the speed i couldn't adjust to. Dunno la.

I keep thinking that people in school are talking about me. Its hard to stick to the "i don't care what you think" mentality sometimes when you've been through a lot of shit. I'm just scared that things will repeat itself. And yes if my sister is reading this, shut up okay as if you know what happened in SJI. Don't come to me quoting off my blog in that irritating tone i hate so so much.

And stop acting like you know more than me. You're a freaking primary school kid. Just because you're a prefect doesn't mean you're better than me. You're so much more rotten in fact. I was such a goody-two-shoes kid at 11 years old la. Never did mix with bad crowds, only thing was i never really did homework. haha. but still i did well then.

And i also hate the way you're some gangster one minute and suddenly break into tears when dad is around. Me and mum are sick of it. okay add my brother in too. yeah. stop it.

ahh somebody stop this raging feeling.

I am bad at remembering birthdays. Please remind me people I feel bad for forgetting birthdays haha. TRAINING TMR WHOOPEE haha and game theory lessons tomorrow by coach. ooo better bring writing materials or smth. We must be serious as a team if we want to go far in A'div. Its not just about running and skills. Well mostly it is. lol

nothing else to say. except bye i guess.

A'div, here i come.

queen impulse?!

2009-01-14T22:51:00.005+08:00

wooh back from training! I feel great because i'm finally not rotting at home and i get to see my fellow dogs man oh yeah.

Damn la i think i deproved! omg. I tried to do a wrongfoot pass and ended up looking like some idiot who has never played hockey before. haha.

Hockey girls gave me a nickname. wth haha i don't wanna tell you guys man. Later next training Venga, Sicheng and Shawn won't stop saying it haha. Speaking of these 3, these 3 are goons that will never fail to make your day. From moral support to pure laughter, seriously my happy pills. haha.

Oh and Kevin damn horny today, ahem haha. Wait la, tmr can see her right. (Sonia la haha)

rilek ah brudder. haha. Kevin is one funny guy.

AJ hockey guys are the best man, i don't regret not joining soccer. Nothing is ever perfect, and in this case, welll yeah. Won't elaborate further heheh.

My life seems to revolve around hockey now. But once school starts i will make sure i focus on studies. Because i have to.

Anddd because Israel sucks. lol. booooo.

They're using chemical warfare! In particular, they released this chemical over Gaza that can burn through human flesh, right to the bone.

macam sial eh. like seriously man, bunch of evil ingrates. i think i'm going to ramble on, so lets end here.

i didn't know so many people read this, and now thanks to Venga, more will. haha

Gooood, then i can say that.... Venga sucks. lol no la you're a really awesome friend and teammate to have. Cheers to AJ hockey! bye. tired man. Halim is probably reading this. HAHA.

*VENGA LOVES TRACY!*

do we have what it takes?

2009-01-13T11:57:00.003+08:00

ah i read this from a blog of some CJ hockey player. ametjulien

"Anderson junior (AJ)-0 Catholic junior (CJ)-4

That is the scoreline for yesterday's hockey match. I so wanted to play but had something more important to attend to.

Anderson used to be a team we (previous CJ batches) had difficulty playing. But now it is a different story."

Argh how i want to prove him wrong. But i know he's good. And i know the CJ team has great potential this year. But with determination, heart, courage and a little bit of luck we can prove him wrong. Oh forgot hard work and patience. duh.

Because when i played against CJ, they weren't that hard a team. I only concluded this after we got eaten alive by Northland 6-0. Yeah. Beeeeg difference between the two. but hell, they're both good la. Nevermind AJ hockey can and will be better.

I can't wait for training tmr, seriously ahhh. Pretty upset i couldn't go for Delta training last week, but when your cousin gets married you gotta be there. haha.

ok don't feel like blogging anymore. Wondering if i should take Lit. My mum asked me why the hell i wasn't taking Lit. hahaha

k bye.

what a joke

2009-01-12T14:12:00.005+08:00

oh damn i can't find my damn phone today. Its somewhere around the house. i forgot where i put it lol

my mum hasn't told my dad about my retaining and she told me that she's gonna tell him i repeated JC1 so that i can switch to Arts. uhh half-true... and she told me not to tell anyone in this embarassed way. I'm sorry that you feel embarassed because i retained but seriously? you must be joking.

I dunno whats wrong with my family. Losing face because i retained ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have cousins with children at the age of 16, cousins who drop out of school and only 3 of us have ever reached a JC, the other two being my brother in TPJC and Latifah in IJC, and you call THIS losing face? are you freaking serious. I should go knock up some girl on the street and smoke marijuana then we'll see what losing face is really all about huh.
HAHA I'M NOT IN THE SAME CLASS AS YOU ANYMORE YOU REVOLTING PIECE OF

c'mon, retaining is not that bad! Unless i got retained in YJ or SR then okay that's an issue. lol.
SHIT I HOPE YOU FLUNK YOUR A'S IRRITATING ASSHOLE I WISH I COULD TELL YOU
uhhhh i'm supposed to be blogging less! bye. .
IN YOUR FACE WHAT A BASTARD YOU ARE but i'm too nice lah damn i'm such a weakling.

Reality bites

2009-01-12T10:19:00.004+08:00

okay, had some talk by Susan Leong with all the retainees. There's 60 of us this year. Apparently AJ's biggest ever batch of retainees. lol. The air was pretty sangfroid. Everyone was feeling glum. It was kinda like a briefing on doomsday. The whole time i was there i kept thinking what subjects i'd be taking now.

Tzuling is gonna kill me when she finds out i got retained. haha. Sorry Tzuling, you're on you're own in J2. I'll always be around though, don't worry. Sounds like some lovers' story but its not! We're just best friends from primary school. haha. And we met again in JC, pretty awesome shit.

Had breakfast with fellow mortals Khai, Ivy(haha), Lynn(Is it Poh Lin or smth like that?) and Wen Bin. First time i'm meeting them, other than Khai. Had a nice breakfast and we talked about stuff. Then we went our separate ways. On the way home, I looked out the bus window. Then i noticed my reflection, and started talking to it haha don't laugh la i'm serious! Not many people in the bus anyway

I told myself to work harder this year and blahblahblah. I'm very worried for this year. Switching streams is quite risky, but i think i really need to. I'll have to really go at it this time, and know my subjects like the back of my hand.

Cliche sayings, i dislike using them but sometimes it really fits a situation.

Oh O'level results are this afternoon! Ah i remember when i received mine. It was such a happy occasion. I was celebrating and jumping around with people i didn't even know. haha. Gosh i miss that moment. Now its like somewhat of a stark contrast.

Oh well. EH IF YOU'RE GETTING YOUR O'S RESULTS DON'T COME AJ ITS A SCREWED UP PLACE but the hockey people are nice. So only come if you're super cheena, don't like malays around(because there's so little of us, more indians even haha), want a promising career in science and science research, wanna excel in mother tongue and flunk GP( luckily i did well for GP) or if you wanna join hockey. You won't regret the last one! haha. Look i didn't. haha. Trust me, its not full of egomaniac jocks, it really feels like a family. a family with a really strict mother. Ms Tay haha.

Whatever the case, no use being depressed, i'll have to take this year as a fresh new opportunity to shine.

2009-01-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

sigh.

I was kinda optimistic earlier today about the journey ahead. I finally get to do Arts and possibly enjoy studying this time. Its a second chance as well, and new friends to be made. A new class as well. New J1 hockey guys and girls to bully as well. haha.

Yeah i know that the 91 batch will still be around in school and so will the hockey guys. And now i'm feeling super depressed again. because despite all this, I won't be graduating with them. I won't be mugging with them for A's like i did with O's (had fun too haha). Its not the same.

And it doesn't help that A'divison is in February. I mean i only have like 7 weeks left with the hockey guys now, to train and play hockey together. Then its A'division and then they'll disappear into the mugging netherworld, leaving me alone to train for next year's A'division. It won't be the same. The huge incentive to come to training with a happy face on will be gone. Because all the goons that have made hockey trainings just about the happiest times ever in AJ and possibly my screwed up life will be gone.

A friend told me, to not have expectations of the new incoming batch. But obviously it'll be hard to match the awesomeness of the AJ hockey guys of 2008.

If only i wasn't so distracted by certain things. If only i followed my head instead of my heart this year.

Whatever it is, one thing i definitely do not regret is joining AJ hockey. Lets make the 7 weeks the 7 most greatest and awesome weeks ever okay. (:

Well a consolation would be that Ehud Olmert, outgoing Israeli prime minister mentioned that "As a Jew, I was ashamed of Jews opening fire at innocent Arabs."

Finally, a Jew whose conscience is not clouded by evil intentions.

HAHAHA

2009-01-11T03:12:00.005+08:00

hey you! need to cheer up like me? Then look at this picture. Its Miss Singapore!

d'oh!

That's the AJ spirit! haha omg this gave me a good laugh throughout the morning, got it from Aida's blog hahaha. Do you see this sicheng? haha omgosh i would kill to be in your class, then got entertainment everyday haha.

HAHA. but jiaxin is really damn funny and a great friend because she's just the ticket out of emoland when you need it. And she think she chio and she think she damn good in hockey leh. haha kidding la!

go AJ hockey! and gooooood ummm morning.

azman dah kahwin!

2009-01-11T00:41:00.005+08:00

Oh before i begin this post, let me announce to the world that the indian guys in AJ hockey have a thing for chinese girls. Especially if they play a racquet sport. HAHA watch out girls! ESPECIALLY TRACY AND SONIA MUAHAHAHAHA i'm just kidding guys don't kill me haha

haha woo okay i was at my cousin's wedding for the whole of saturday haha. Gosh was it (malay) star studded because my cousin married this woman who is the cousin of people like Taufik Batisah and Hazrul Nizam. And she's also related to other big people, notably Rahimah Rahim. haha. and there were a hell lot of ang mohs like where the hell did they come from. They seemed to know the bride so i'm assuming colleagues?

and there were lots of famous malay singers from my parents' childhood. One of them actually organised the wedding, i think her name is Maria Bachok or something like that. Sorry i don't listen to malay oldies' music. haha

okay so yeah as you can expect, aria Bachok, Rahimah Rahim and Taufik all performed. Taufik's one was super short but he still did sing. I used to be a skeptic of him and i was super irritated by the fact that A CERTAIN GROUP OF FRIENDS are always so entranced when it comes to him. Taufik this Taufik that. hahaha. no not jealous okay. haha.

But actually he sings really well haha. Asyraf was right about malay songs sounding nicer when sung live. lol.

I think i actually enjoyed that wedding. Maybe its because my own cousin got married and the event actually felt purposeful. or maybe it was juts PLAIN AWESOME wooohoo my wedding will be like that! See i'm already planning ahead. excellent i'd say. hahaha

as for the dumb retaining issue, i think i'm over it. In fact i cannot wait to start over. Yes i think i'm going to pursue my passion, and switch to the Arts stream. Although i dunno what to take as of now. ECONS IS A MUST. yeah. maybe H1 maths as well?

Or or i could take a hybrid combination. hmm. not sure. yeah i think i'll consult my teachers first. yes. My mum already agreed to letting me switch so there shouldn't be a problem.

Ms Tay is really supportive too, thanks Ms Tay. =D You see, i'm going to be fine because my friends are not going anywhere. and all the supportive tags, smses and calls really touched me. And i'll still be able to play with the awesome AJ hockey guys, you guys rock la. I laugh until i grow abs of steel everytime i'm with you guys. hahaha i can't wait for training. I hope my mum doesn't render me barred from training.

and yknow, she didn't take my retaining that badly. but she was disappointed. She said "i don't know what to say" and then was quiet. After that it returned to normal. haha. She told me that i have the power to change this family. The extended family, not my family of 6. Because um my cousins aren't exactly bright sparks. sorry la, but the truth hurts. :/

So yes, i won't let you down this time. Just let me do Arts, and the rest will be fine. I'll work harder and train harder at the same time. Less computer time(which mean less blogging on updates), less playing games time. Oh and also more sembahyang time. haha yes, i have to change.

ambitious, but life is meant to be a challenge.

screwed

2009-01-08T21:07:00.008+08:00

i am screwed, because i failed my retest.

well, i just wish that i can still have an awesome friendship with all the awesome friends i've made that are moving on to J2. Especially the hockey guys. Because i think you guys are really a great bunch. And a great captain too. Thanks Chun Yang for the drink, that was really nice. (:

And for some particular reason, there's this extra feeling of brotherhood-like attachment that i feel towards the other defenders. haha.

oh goodness i'm getting mushy over a bunch of guys. But yeah, I'm really glad i joined hockey. soccer can eat shit for all i care. Not that i hate the soccer guys. I'm just freaking pissed.

at myself. for being so bloody stupid.

and yeah. makciks too, don't forget this pakcik hahaha.

I dunno la. I feel really lost now. I have to make new friends, i have to see the batch that moved on without me own the A's and leave me behind. aw man.

and i dunno whether to follow my heart or my head now, because my heart is screaming " OMFG switch to Arts you know you want to!"

And the head is like "chill la, if you stick to science it'll be easier to get into University."

But i don't think i can take another year of science. But i'm quite wary of Arts too, especially AJC Arts because all the Arts ppl are saying its horrible. Even IJC Arts people say that. omg.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW. omg. how now brown cowzzzz.

I don't feel like talking to anybody. I wanna go somewhere like an open field and bawl my eyes out. But yknow, society is screwed up and guys can't cry and all.

So i'll write it out. poem after poem. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! I think i lost the ability to write poems spontaneously, the pen guided by feelings and emotions only. I miss that. Wrote so much of that in sec 2. which helped. because it was a horrible year. Stupid SJI idiots, especially those two canoeists. crushed me.

i want to be alone now.

oh and AJ guys lost to Northland 6-0. I think the girls' loss was ever worse. they were down 6-0 by the end of the first half already. greaaaaat. Aiyah experience matters!

infinity

2009-01-05T21:34:00.008+08:00

thats the theme of AJC orientation 2009! its all spacey i guess. haha.

so anyways i'm in the Aquila alliance! Its the flagship alliance for Jaguar house btw. So yeah, all(or almost all) OGLs in it are from Jaguar.

haha its pretty fun when there's peeps from 23, funny goons like Venga and Clement to hang out with and people like Hani and Sofia. haha yeah and Wang Ling adds such zing and pazazz to the Aquila flava. A little bit too high-strung sometimes, but she's in the best allince for her, because the rest of us are pretty reserved and cool. Like we'll all be quiet except her. All the time. Well until we're on a break or having lunch then oh boy its a wild Aquila party. haha.

Yeah i was pretty happy and all, making new friends is always a plus. It adds to the AJ experience. But yknow it really saddened me to see the injustice being done by Israel on Gaza. It is against international law and yet the U.S continues to supply it with money and weapons to fuel the war?!?! omgoodness, and your bloody currency has the words "In God we trust" omfg. You can't possibly have "trust in God" when you're killing innocent civilians. You are destroying the very sanctitiy of human life, created by God. And therefore you're going against God. HYPOCRITES.

And so the athiests might be saying "oh haha God? there is no God. " well well well, i'm sure even athiests uphold morals and human values, and definitely recognise the sanctity of life as somewhat the sacred core of humanity, considered sacred here to mean that it is highly respected and never violated. Life is more than just existence, even to atheists. We find these meanings in our family and friends. Nobody would consciously want to mindlessly kill innocent people. Well if you're not an asshole or mental.

So now, we all see that what Israel is doing is wrong and just evil. Ok if you're still not convinced, look at these. heartbreaking.

too young to even perceive what is evil. And the Israelis just kill them anyways. You can't possibly say that killing these children brings you a step closer to victory over Hamas omg nooo you cannot. Their innocent eyes glimmer with the hope that will be their only possesion left supporting them as they move into a very bleak future( if they survive, stupid Israelis.)

Now, I know that I am a Muslim speaking up for my fellow Muslims in Gaza. But beyond religion, we are all human. Regardless of religion, it is wrong to kill innocent people. I'm sure all of you can understand that, regardless of whether you're Christian or Buddhist or Hindu or... you get my drift.

Now let us all stand up against this injustice that is happening right before us. Together, in a show of solidarity against Israel's war crime. I know i'm just 17 and you might be thinking "why the hell is this guy blogging as if he's some president?", well its because i have a heart.

Jews have no shame. They were given a homeland carved out of Palestinian Arab territory after the holocaust which killed 6 million of them. And now, they are attacking the very people that lived there before these Zionists even came. Gosh, thanks for your gratitude.

Whats pisses me off even more is that while we may think that Israel has some crazy hellbent government determined to kill innocent people only to assure Israel's stability in the same bloody region(i know stupid right), it really adds a tremendous insult to injury(literally, and much more serious than mere injuries, try death.) to note that a majority of Israelis actually support this! That makes almost 7 million heartless bitches in one screwed up nation.

Stupid zionists.

i hate this

2009-01-04T20:27:00.008+08:00

I'm feeling so moody now. I don't know why. I just keep getting flashbacks of my horrible first 3 years of SJI. I don't know, I feel like beating someone up. Like transferring all that suffering to someone else. So that i don't get such stupid flashbacks anymore. So that i can look at the yearbook and say "that was a great year" instead of feeling my insides twist in disgust and wince at the very sight of all your faces.

I mean, i didn't do anything to deserve this stupid stupid past. We all want a past that is heartwarming and cheerful to look back to, not one that strangles you with this heartwrenching feeling. We all want to have fond memories. Not haunting ones.

I guess all I'v ever wanted was to be accepted. and even I can't accept myself and my past. I wish i could be a stronger person, someone who could take life by the horns. Instead of fearing that the past would repeat itself every single time.

so to you idiots whom i just despise for making life miserable, i may seem like i'm okay with you idiots but in reality i wish i could just bite all your heads off.

But you see, i'm just toooo nice and the world world can just step on me. so go ahead. You wouldn't be the first anyway.

I really don't know why i feel like this. I feel like the ugly duckling all the time. SJI or AJC.

At least in AJ i have the hockey guys and makciks and also some people before that like Kumz Club and IF and indieboy and YMC(well some of you) and other friends here and there. yeah, you could say 2008 has been a good year compared to the past. At least i got a fresh start to life. I'm free from the shackles that made my first three years in SJI horrible. Yeah, think positive. I got out of the hellhole right.

Ok i feel slightly better. haha. OGL training tomorrow. and Syamira is trying to get me to do homework instead. and there's hockey. Okay i'm thirsty. bye.

the pigs are eating popcorn selling tickets to the show

2009-01-03T23:56:00.006+08:00

...la, lalala,lalalalala,lalala,lalalalala,lalala,lalalalala c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon!

I just keep getting more and more fond of The Bird and The Bee. anyway.......

hmm i'm quite tired now, so i'll just sum it up for today.

Woke up in the morning and prepared to meet Iqbal and K7 at City Hall at 1.00pm. But unfortunately my ljgasdgbnosd sister moved all my holiday homework sheets from the study table! apparently she was cleaning. tsk. my stuffffffff= DON'T TOUCH grr.

So i went to check with people what the homework was because yeah i never touched that pile on the table and therefore didn't know what they were. haha.

Anyway i gave up and brought only GP. lalalalaa tried to do GP at Starbucks, but i think my brain was more stimulated by helping K7 with chemistry(not really helping, more like double-checking?) than by doing GP. I mean VJ GP IS AGAINST THE LAW seriously its tough. oh man.

OH WAIT forgot to mention that before that, Icky's cousin came with his girlfriend and they treated us to lunch. I ate Thai Laksa with Chicken and potato!

(in Thai i think it was Aye Phaw Ghot okay lol okay i didn't remember obviously.)

It was good. Weird thing was that the soup tasted like Rendang. Good thing that's one of my favourite Malay dishes.

sooooo, after the weak attempt at slaying GP, we went to play pool, but the stupid woman demamded our IC which we all didn't have. So we went home.

Oh forgot to mention that i had great company throughout the day. (:

oh plus Iqbal's cousin is super funny and high 24/7. And his girlfriend is loaded. Since she treated us. and Icky told me she treats him and all his cousins a lot. hahahaha i wanna be his cousin now. hahaha.

Got home with Subway cookies again, and gave my mum one. She wants a Macadamia White Nut Cookie next time. I want that too! haha she was like "subway not halal you know. Quick throw the wrapper away and put it on a plate for me." hahahaha. well i'm okay with eating the cookies, and so is my mum apparently. haha.

okay i am close to KO. au revoir (simone lol).

P.S: AJ HOCKEY ROOLZ YO MOMMA.

great day

2009-01-02T23:39:00.006+08:00

HELLO! look i'm happy because,

i had an awesome awesome day. (:

dunno la, just wanted to put a picture because my posts are usually dry and wordy. okay

Hockey training in the morning. Ran 12 rounds (!!!!) and was so drained i couldn't focus on basics after that. but i managed. My defensive skills improved. happy with that. Captain said that i've pretty much confirmed my spot as centreback on the team. which is great! yay go me.

lol but guys, just wanna say that( although not many hockey guys know my blog exist, only sicheng and azfar that i know of and maybe venga) ...okay that was a long interlude.

anyway just wanna say that i thought that Zhi Jian looked really left out. and yeah you guys like hesitated to join his team of 3 when it came to his turn. Thats not very nice, c'mon guys, its all about team. GOOOO AJ HOCKEY lol no i'm serious AJ hockey is le awesome.

lol and sicheng and shawn just won't die, they just won't no matter how many times i beat them when they try to attack muahahahaha, but damn it, they stopped me every single time i attacked. daaaaamn. Must be since all 3 of us are defenders and are more apt when it comes to defence. (like duh wth am i saying)

AJ hockey is so fetch. LOL

haha then prayers, and met Iqbal to chill and talk and catch up and it was great. We hung out, talked, walked and ate all over AMK from 3pm to almost 11pm. HAHA. time well spent i'd say. we talked about lots of things, from my depressing years in SJI to the history of malay peoples. lol. we are cool like that la. haha. :D

There were funny moments along the way, but i'm abeeeet(kay a lot la) tired so nvm la hahaha.

Subway cookies are awesome. Clam chowder, not so. such a small serving too. like wth $2.10 fro THAT?!?!!

----------------> W.T.F. <-----------------

Then my mum picked me up from Macs at almost 11pm, although i was supposed to wait with him until his mother came. sorrrrrrrry! but yeah, can't have my mum waiting, she'll blow up on me.

okay, so i gotta go watch some things on YouTube now/tomorrow:

1. Rilo Kiley

2. Eisley

3. Camera Obscura

4. Goodness Gracious Me

5. International hockey matches(because i feel like it)

oh, the glory and power that is YouTube. The cybermuse of our world. All hail YouTube.

Hazm you are one funny creature.

Bye world, i feel like listening to Inara's voice. addictive shit.

Edit:

WAIT! lol i just found this. my class party(lol what?!)

oh my god. haha i'm impressed. he went to the extent of making the poster. But got results and hockey bbq on that day omg how. tsk okay think about that tmr. going to sleep now my father is being like some gangster again haha

Dad: If i see you still using the computer soon, KAU SIAP AH. (you're finished)

lol okaaaay. damn it lah can't he say nicely. ok bye then.

omg its 2009

2009-01-01T00:08:00.003+08:00

its 2009! wow okay. just like that? haha okaaaaay.

anyway, watched Twilight on my birthday( i didn't want to i was begging for Australia but noooo everyone else wanted twilight lol) and i wasn't entertained at first. But i gotta say, the baseball scene was like the turning point and it was a super awesome scene WITH THE BEST POSSIBLE SONG for this scene playing, Supermassive Black Hole. haha. seriously it really goes well with the scene.

After that scene it was okaaaay la. One of the usual themes, unconditional love, prevailed haha.

Alice Cullen was played by Ashley Greene, and she looks like a slim and sexy version of Stephanie Meyer herself! ahaha speaking of Meyer, she was in a scene at the restaurant using her laptop haha isn't that cool. Imagine J.K Rowling appearing as a new teacher in The Half Blood Prince. coool haha. not a fan of Harry Potter though.

Am i the only one who thinks that the way she threw the baseball in the baseball scene was so damn sexy? The way her leg went up before she threw it hahaha okay i'll just shut up now. Her eyes, i'm hooked on them. And she was damn cute in the movie with her haircut and bubbly yet mysterious character.

Another year in AJC,

Another chance at glory? Go AJC hockey! Team AJC all the way!

And lets not forget A'levels too. haha. happy new year everyone. (:

God save us all, i'm 17!

2008-12-30T00:01:00.007+08:00

lol. the day has come. the remote and secluded 30th of december. Normally i do nothing except eat cake and have dinner outside with family. haha i know, pathetic. but it comes with having a brithday at a time when people are counting down and preparing for school. In recent years my parents celebrated my birthday like one day later on the 31st to make it in conjunction with New Years Day. This year as well. haha.

And the only present i can ever remember getting was a toy car when i was 8 or 9. from my nenek (thats grandma). thanks, love you nenek. :D (edit: haha just realised i got a gameboy when i was 7 too. oops)

oh gosh my cake had green tea icing and some peppermint filling and durian also haha. just because i love green to death.

oh and you know whats interesting?

Fast Fact #25

- i was slated to be born on 12 January 1992 but i was born 13 days early!

haha its like God was thinking i don't belong in that batch or smth. hahaha oh well i'm really glad because i have one great bunch of friends now, from Kumz Club and other SJI friends (notably my fellow firdaus and the Ibrahims and Jason Abraham and Karthik, true friends man) to the makciks, the hockey guys and my AJ friends.

Speaking of hockey, today was so damn fun. I feel this spirit among us hockey guys when we're training. Its like this cool brotherhood where we kinda look out for each other and suffer together. and have fun together. Honestly, the hockey guys in my school are genuinely great friends to have. haha although i don't show it all the time. Friends like these are what makes me look forward to tomorrow and its really in friendships like these that we lead meaningful lives. How beautiful is life right now. This is such a contrast to how i felt like a few days back.

My life isn't so screwed up after all. :D

i'm so spankeldorfed.

2008-12-28T22:59:00.007+08:00

hey! what a day with family. I was sleeping on the way home. haha. Anyway, i first listened to this song at the start of this year, i actually really like it. this makes it the first song i actually like from an indie band hahaha sorry hazm for persecuting you endlessly for this hahaha.

The Bird and the Bee - Again and Again

haha and this is the second song i love from them. i think this one's better. no video though. I wish i had all these songs in my phone damn.

The Bird and the Bee - Come As You Were

i love this one tooo.

The Bird and the Bee - I Hate Camera

there's a few more brilliant songs from them! go youtube now and search them goooo.

I'm pretty fed up that they came to Singapore and played in the Mosaic Music Festival this year! Because i didn't get to catch them. Like my parents would ever let me. oh well. They're just enchanting. I'm a fan. :D

okay i'm tired. will not even talk about yesterday, it was horrible after 8pm. But no matter, today i'm feeling much better. Don't you just adore the video its funny haha and weird. But none of their videos are normal anyways. okay till next time.

HOCKEY TRAINING TMR! so sudden but i miss hockey and the guys man! wooohoooo.

tag! i'm it.

2008-12-27T01:50:00.008+08:00

aathi kesaven s/o perumalpillay has tagged me to do this! so here it goes.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
ami
amifirdaus
fir

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
ami
amifirdaus
amifirz

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
chatting on msn
surfing the internet
watching Arsenal vs Aston Villa

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
my hair
pimple free face
i'm really tolerant no matter how shitty you can be

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
low self-esteem
can't mug
i can be too nice and let people step on me sometimes

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
Ambon (Bugis)
Sri Lanka (Ceylonese)
China (lol hard to believe eh)
.........and thats not all haha omg i'm such a rojak

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
failure
rejection
loneliness

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
shirt
shorts
specs

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
food
water
friends

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
handphone
computer
hockey stick

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
Shiny Toy Guns
Nidji
The Bird and the Bee
(not many bands that i like to begin with haha)

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
hockey
hang out/talk with friends
eat (lol sial lah i'm such a fatty)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
Hapus Aku - Nidji
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
get fitter
play well in A'div
do well in A'levels

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
x
y
z

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
two-way caring
understanding
trust

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
babies (ahaha like ten years later i'm sure)
friendship
opinions

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
i miss hockey
i miss Kumz Club people
i miss AJC

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
eyes
hair
skin

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
humour
happiness
excitement (nono when she's excited, not me)

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
eat pork
fly
lick my elbow

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
kumz club soccer at tanglin
ymc
not having to study to pass tests

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
Cat (PLEASE MUM)
iPod video
laptop

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
family
friends (especially KC peeps)
SJI

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
hockey
soccer
baking (lol screw what you think)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
play hockey
play soccer
see friends (especially KC, Hockey and some other peeps)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
Political Science
Psychology
Law
(wow so ambitious)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
New Zealand
Samoa
Greece

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
Patrick Star
Phineas Flynn
Candace Flynn

THREE BOY’S NAMES:
Chad
Victor
Danial

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
Adriana
Alessandria
Shailene

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Travel across Europe with friends
Have kids
Go to Mecca at least once for the Hajj Pilgrimage

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ OR DIE PAINFULLY:
uhh shit shit whooooo.um

aisha,
si cheng,
delima.

if anyone else wants to do it just go ahead lah. haha.

today will be a good day i hope.

This is Sin(gapore) City

2008-12-26T15:12:00.003+08:00

heyhey. I missed my friday prayers today because i overslept. what a pig right. its like the second time in my life this happened haha. oh well.

Not like i'm some holy guy to begin with. oooooooookay.

anyways. I'm super bored. Shi Hui wanted to ask me to watch a movie with her because she had a free ticket BUT I WAS SLEEPING WHEN SHE CALLED oh man i could have been out and about in AMK town! But noooo here i am. I want sugar cane really bad now.

Eh damn it la got homework, lots of it. AND according to that piece of paper from the Leongster, I have to finish all my homework or else i'll have to retain. like what the fuck is that.

seriously.

(edit: hey k7 i only saw your quiz thingy after i posted this lol so i'll do it tmr!)

NEW BLOGSKINZXZ

2008-12-25T23:03:00.002+08:00

haha look its a new blogskin. The old one represented the dark days of my SJI life. Its time i move on.

But me being the sentimental freak, i decided to save the previous blogskin as well. hahaha.

Anyways, why green?

FAST FACT #64

-amifirdaus' favourite colour is green. dark green!

yeehah. okay. this skin isn't so cluttered and its simpler too.

hahaha greengreengreen

2008-12-25T12:02:00.005+08:00

hey everyone celebrating out there,
MERRY CHRISTMAS W0RHZXZXZXZ. lol k without the Ah Lian shit. But its funny to do that haha so twitty.

I was reading some local blogs earlier and wow they are really liberal. to the max. One of them even got banned by MOE haha. But they make good, insightful and fresh reads. They actually discuss issues and cross reference with other blogs and news sources. One of them is an AJ old boy even hahaha from the 03/04 batch. thats like 5 years ago.

13 days to results, damn long. on the day of SAJC's retests i think! and i heard TJ gave everyone who failed a retest. wow. so no retainess yet. haha. dunno bout other schools, CJ is just sad. I seriously think they should have had a retest.

Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns

hello little boys, little toys
we're the dreams you're believing
crawling up the wall
running down your face
razor sharp, razor clean
feel the weapon's sensation
on your back, with loaded guns

Bridge:
Now hold on to me pretty baby
If you wanna fly
I'm gonna melt the fever sugar
rolling back your eyes

Chorus:
We're gonna ride the race cars
We're gonna dance on fire
We're the girls Le Disko
Supersonic overdrive

So what's it gonna take silver shadow believer
Stock rocker with your dirty eyes
Its a chance, gonna move, gonna fuck up your ego
Silly boy gonna make you cry

Bridge

Chorus

If what they say is true
You're a boy and i'm a girl
I will never fall in love with you

Chrous x 3 (she whispers the first 2 in a sultry way, love it)

Its an old song but its one of my faves, i think it just pips You Are the One as my favourite Shiny Toy Guns song everrrr and Carah looks awesome except we don't see her face much. oh well. She slimmed down in the video too. haha. okay oh and she's lesbian so yeah. you can see it from the video anyway. haha. If there are mistakes in the lyrics its probably because i typed it out from memory. haha oh and you should centralise the screen to watch the video because my blogskin doesn't allow you to see the full video. well i shall go read other blogs now.

What has happened to the Shiny Toy Guns. I don't really like their new sound.

They should have a home delivery service for Sugar Cane Juice!

2008-12-24T21:47:00.004+08:00

Is school open tomorrow? I wanna go early in the mornjing, maybe run run run then do some hockey self training and then slay GP homework or smth. I don't want to be all cooped up at home leh. I hope that maybe i don't have to go for Abang Idris' wedding on Friday so that i can play soccer but i think i have to.

But i don't even know him that well. Just that he's half British and half Malay. lol. I don't even know if he's my cousin or uncle. haha. But he's nice when i visit. He gives me money and laments on my height every time. haha.

"firdaus you're so tall now!"

Oh no one in family calls me Ami because almost every other cousin of mine also has the name Ami. Its like a prefix. Ami _______.

I want to get fitter and fitter. And improve my beep test score. And run under 11 minutes. baby steps, then after that i'll work on running below ten minutes. I don't know how they do it, i'm so breathless when i run. even just after 1 round. Its like i still have the energy and stamina to carry on but i'm just breathing too fast.

VIETNAM WON THAILAND 2-1 IN BANGKOK WTF

I feel like writing poems, the last time i added to my poem book was in Sec 4. But i threw some of them away, they reminded me of someone. But i'm friends with her again. It just happened, we didn't consciously try to reconciliate, it was like as if we both forgot. But both of us clearly remember. Anyways nowadays i can't seem to find the inspiration to write but in sec 2 i could write them almost spontaneously.

My life was damn dramatic in secondary school and now its kinda boring, except for hockey. I've always thought that my transition from the thick brown specs to contacts are symbolic of this. But i got contacts because of joining hockey really.

My mum is such a pest seriously. She loves yanking at my hair FOR FUN. FOR FUN grrr. damn pain lah. and my dad loves to wrestle and box with me for fun. gosh, its like martial parenting. AND SHE SAYS THAT I'M BEING RUDE BY TELLING HER TO GO AWAY i mean cmon she's pulling my hair la i'm so irritated man.

ah then after the training and studying i can go drink sugar cane juice! GREAT AWESOME PLAN.

I wish my whitening foam would work. I look burnt nowadays. And the tan line is super obvious at my neck.

Why can't i sleep nowadays. gah

2008-12-23T22:16:00.002+08:00

RETESTS ARE OVER.

Oh dear i can already recall some heavy(can you say 10 marks?) careless mistakes for physics. like this:

1/2(v)(v) = 3000
(v)(v) = 1500 <------------------ do you see it?

And this was the first part of a ten mark question and i needed the correct value from the part to use in the next parts ahhh damn stupid.

i want laksa and sugar cane juice. arggh. super restless now ooh parents are back bye

gosh. see you guys next year i hope.

2008-12-19T11:45:00.002+08:00

Yesterday. was. an eye-opener for sure.

Guys' friendly:

AJC 0
CJC 4

Girls friendly:

AJC 4
CJC 1

well the AJ girls played with a guy keeper so lets add two goals for the CJ girls. haha.

I only played the second half of the guys match though, because my captain played CB the first half. I like being a centre back, even though i've only been one for 5 days now. I kinda freaked out when my captain said i'd be playing CB instead of my usual left-half but now i kinda like it. haha.

I'm still tired and :o gotta go for friday prayers real soon.

2008-12-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was overwhelming. I've never realised how words alone can be so powerful, especially when you're feeling down. Words can really uplift, that i'll never forget. (:

Felt like i was in some wonderland. Had a good night's sleep after so long too. whoohooooooo.

Ohmyshit i'm going to have to play centreback against CJ this thursday. CJ! Its going to be hard. But better screw up now than at A'division tournament next year right.

AJ hockey is pure awesomeness.

As for the retests, screw it. If i retain or not, doesn't matter anymore. I'm still young, i don't think it'll be so bad retaining for a year. In fact it could be good. Its just hard seeing great friends move on without me and having to make new ones. I hope no one from SJI comes to AJ i seriously despise that batch. lol.

BUT I REALLY WANTED TO BE AN OGL! It seems so fun. haha. Oh well. Maybe next year?

Orrr maybe by some miracle i'll pass the retests. There's still that. Would be the best birthday gift ever. Hah its not like i get anything on my birthday anyway. Just dinner outside somewhere usually. But it suffices i guess.

I seriously do not like most of my aunties on my father's side.

I want sugar cane juice. maybe tomorrow.

2008-12-15T22:13:00.005+08:00

Training was like a slap in the face today. Friendly with CJ on Thursday. And i'm sweeping like some pathetic idiot. argh. Chatting by sms with Andrea is nice, like its as if we're talking face to face. Dunno why. Only some people can do it. haha.

I'm feeling lost right now. like the monster of despair has swallowed me whole. and its really dark in here.

I'm trying to tell myself its okay if i retain. But i know i'll be so unhappy if it happens. But what can i do. There's this strong feeling inside that can't be ignored, and its screaming that i will learn how fate can be cruel really soon. No matter how hard i try to study and fight it.

Not only that, i'll have to watch all the great friends i've made move on without me. I mean, i've never really had such friends apart from Kumz Club peeps + IqbalFirdaus haha. yeah memories are coming back. Comforting. (:

Then again there are the bad ones, that never seem to stop eating me up every single night(unless it was a good day). Its really killing me in such a silent way that i keep telling myself maybe i need counselling.

oh what the heck, i've always needed counselling. sigh. When certain thoughts come to mind, you know you need it. I've had them for years now. Its filling me with such horrible feelings that seem to suffocate my soul. I wish the thoughts will go away. one day.

And then there's that. My heart always tells me i've made the wrong decision, but my head keeps reminding me to stay headstrong and follow through with the plan to save myself before i turn into some failure who depends on siblings to live. sigh.

Why is life so freaking hard.

And i don't know why i'm always like this. Somehow, my life isn't as happy or vibrant or filled with love like others.

I guess no one really knows what its like. I wish someone did.

AND THIS IS NOT EMO PLEASE its just how i feel. i just don't like it when people think sadness=emo(sadness is just sadness okay) just because some idiots decided to turn emo into some lifestyle like emo m&ms shfneosihfowanfoeas oh and i saw this minah downstairs who shaved her eyebrows and drew pink ones OMG she looked like a monster.

i should go offline now before i spoil the keyboard. exactly a week away to the second J1 massacre.

2008-12-10T19:04:00.003+08:00

gosh. I ISH BACK FWOM MALAYSIA WORHHXZXZXZ!

okay i'm kidding okay i am male haha yes.

well yeah, gone for a week. kinjda like shit, forced to go. I know i sound like a bad grandson, not wanting to meet his grandfather in Malaysia for Hari Raya Haji, but yknow, this holidays is especially crucial. No time wasting.

But yknoiw what, if i retain, i'm gonna be fine. Just super irritated by the fact that i lost 1 year of my life just like that. I mean considering you don't think being in school is what living life is all about. Sure, i'd keep the friends but i could do without the mugging. Its not learning anymore when you're forced to learn and regurgitate. There's just too much to learn if you try not to mug and regurgitate. unless you're some genius freakshow.

And while i was in Malaysia, every night i kept thinking of the same thing, such uneasy nights i had. gah.

OH and unexpectedly enough, i thought Wild Child was a bearable and okay movie to watch. Mamma Mia was a little bit crappy but it was okay too. haha. Trying to study in Malaysia was such a botched attempt. So bad that i think i ended up forgetting stuff rather than learning it. I mean i just stared at notes for hours, tried to write down some notes, then fell asleep. didn't learn anything, i think i forgot Newton's 3 Laws. ARGH

I AM SO EXCITED THERE'S PITCH TRAINING TMR HAHA YAY. =D It remains a big(WAIT no one of the MAIN reasons) reason why i decided to stay in AJ if i get retained.

Okay bye i shall study my mistakes made for promo papers now.

2008-12-03T04:08:00.002+08:00

Its 4.08 am. I can't sleep. So sue me.

mm so i've been reading local nature blogs and wow its truly amazing what Singapore still has. A good start would be teamseagrass.blogspot.com, or maybe you could try wildsingapore.com itself. So many things i learned about. Like the Cyrene Reefs, and the rocky formations on Pulau Sekudu.

One of the sad things i read about, other than the flood of 2007 that killed lots of sealife, was the huge amount of garbage on our reefs. OMFG can you Singaporeans not litter when you visit our reefs and beaches and forests even? And if you had a barbeque or smth, CLEAR IT UP once you're done and don't leave it there.

Super exciting to note that Otters, Hill Mynas, Dugongs and other cool creatures i never thought Singapore would have, actually existed in our waters, reefs and forests.

I hope the government doesn't go ahead in turning the Southern Islands into a 3rd IR exclusively for billionaires to play in. Creating something most ordinary Singaporeans cannot enjoy and destroying our native flora and fauna, not to mention already scarce coral reefs in St Johns and the Sisters Islands to do so, is like shooting yourself twice. Why would you do that. Sure there's lots of revenue to be earned.

But is it worth it? We Singaporeans must draw the line before our Southern Island paradise gets taken away from us and desecrated by the hand of mass-consumerism.

Sadly, most Singaporeans don't even care. Stupid dumbasses, don't go all patriotic on me if i decide to migrate to a more beautiful country to live in and escape the increasingly man-made metropolis we know as Singapore.

money isn't everything, capitalist fools.

2008-12-02T22:04:00.003+08:00

I must somehow find a way to motivate myself to study. I can't be going out all the time to study, although it helps. haha thanks to the makciks who invite me to study sessions from time to time. (:

After reading a PAE friend's blog(she also came to AJ) i realised that my life isn't that pathetic and i am not destined for failure. Its just that i've either not been trying hard enough, my focus was on the wrong stuff, or maybe i just need to care less about what people think and just do what I want.

Yknow because faking happiness can get tiring. Faking laughter, even worse. At least i'm not a fake when it comes to what matters.

To tell you the truth, its only during hockey training that i'm happy. apart from ML early this year and the week of intensive OP with my pw group AJ107, school sucked to the max.

And to that friend, please work hard next year and don't give up because you are seriously one of the nicest people there are in AJC. I don't know you super well, but you should know that such a sweet and nice person will always have friends there to back you up in times of need. Oh and i've loved swings ever since i was a child too. hehe.

So fight on, because trust me, we're all fighting.

P.S: HAHA FATMAH TALIB IS DAMN FUNNY, even when she's not trying to be. And there's no hint of lameness, somehow she just is. And she feels the same way i do sometimes. haha. long P.S

2008-11-28T00:45:00.002+08:00

argh dammit la. parents have suddenly decided out of nowhere that we're spending the HAri Raya Haji weekend over in Malaysia, with atok sultan. Not that i dislike atok sultan, he is an awesome atok so far. but i feel that its crucial and precious time lost on studying.

WHICH IRKS ME.

I mean i can probably predict with good reason that there won't be much studying done in Malaysia. It just adds to the holiday mood. But the house does hold many wonderful memories. I used to spend hours in the garden digging up worms and playing with them. lol and and the cats are so bloody cute ahh i swear i'm gonna have my own cat when i grow up. Like my first child eh haha.

ahh but what disturbs me the most is that i don't even know what i'm studying for. It has been so clear to me that physical science is not the path i wish to take in the future, but rather social sciences. And yet i'm forced to mug for 3(!!!) hardcore science subjects and a bearable/okay H2 Economics. Which i will NEVER drop to H1. Does anyone see the problem here? Its like i'm fishing for birds, like asking syamira hassan for help with a maths question. (lol)

basically, its pointless.

2008-11-27T04:54:00.005+08:00

Awake at 4.55 am. haha why? because i woke up from my nap at midnight. lol.

Yeah. been thinking a lot while everyone's asleep.

I really need someone i can pour out everything into. I mean in secondary school it was Iqbal or k7 but k7's in CJ and Iqbal is in TJ (you really should have come AJ i am dying) so yeah. start all over again. I mean which is good considering the life i had in SJI.

But i think when you feel all alone at a time when you need someone to talk to the most, it really sucks. Its like no one around me really understands. Not like k7 or Iqbal or even Kumz and Hisyam did anyways. oh well, its not so bad talking to yourself. is it? well i'm too used to it already. And it works for me.

i feel pathetic at this very moment.

oh and Vengadajalapathy s/o elankovan, guys who blog are not gay. although you were half-joking(you joker, made me laugh like an asshole in AMK hub), its a mindset among certain guys already. Not all guys have to be the type that stares and obsesses over girls all day and have some false bravado on. In fact i think there's always that sensitive side of you, no matter who you are.

so just accept it. why not embrace it even. You might become a better person.

P.S : feeling very hopeless now. don't know if i'm capable of passing the retest.

2008-11-25T23:29:00.004+08:00

The hockey guys (some of them anyway) think i'm the black equivalent of Zac Efron.

2 things to say to that:

1. LOL
2. Dammit, is my complexion really that dark?

haha training tmr! i hope they didn't change the timing AGAIN without smsing me. ): i missed a pitch training lah such a waste. nvm maybe it was God's way of telling me, i've been in the sun for too long. lol. which is true i guess. And i'm fully recovered from the scourge that is FLU.

My house is filled with the song Sekali Ini Saja by Glenn. Why? How? Who?

Well, we just watched Istri Untuk Suamiku. Such a tearjerker that episode. But the last time i cried to a show was in lower primary lol. Is was either the movie Fluke or some Tamil movie where the son had to poison his own mum in the end. it was so sad i still remember the scene vividly. Indians can do anything man, from making you cry to making you 1 prata kosong and 1 prata telur. lol its not meant as an insult btw lol.

Oh anyway, Alya came back to life but got amnesia. Its like a Faustian Bargain of some sort.

I wish my parents had let me taken Arts. Literature sounds really good to me right now. I mean, i'm not forced to read when it comes to Literature, but Science, uh well there was never really any interest.

oh well, no use regretting.

I am freaking out because i can't seem to study effectively for the retest.

somebody save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(edit: OMG I AM PANICKING BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED THERE'S HOLIDAY HOMEWORK TO DO WTF)

2008-11-21T22:15:00.003+08:00

ugh. feeling like shit. Flu can be cruel.

felt like dying during training because i didn't eat breakfast. Felt my eyes closing against my will, like literally. argh and the flu came back. ):

I'll try to study despite the flu. I need to.

Now as for tags;

HAHA yeah Cass come to think of it, i did enjoy pw, nearing the end, that last week leading up to OP was great. Cheers to AJ107!

and hello praveena!

Thats it then. Other than Azfar's overwhelming retardedness and the truly awesome magic 8 ball which gave the best answers to our every question ( i'm convinced it loves me), I don't think there's much left that is worthy of mentioning.

Oh and si cheng, you still have the twin pack to look forward to! haha i bet monday will be a tiring one too, seeing my present condition. Okay then, bye world.

2008-11-19T22:19:00.003+08:00

such a sleepy day, today.

haha yes si cheng, i enjoyed your present. IN FACT I SHARED IT WITH MY FAMILY LOL you idiot. And HANI JULYANI i agree with you like 87% on Britney! don't ask why 87% haha i don't know either.(oh, and MAT4EVA is Azfar, if some people out there still don't know haha)

i haven't been studying since training on monday. all because of some VS boy ah lol. plus God decided i was too good-looking( LOL kidding lah yknow i'm so humble =D ) and gave me a swollen right lower eyelid (what a mouthful) this morning. really hurts to blink. AND ITS DAMN ITCHY I WANNA RUB but it hurts to rub it lol. and after training on monday i couldn't sleep because i kept getting thigh cramps, wtf. See lah, run so much. argh

And there's this gooey pus-like liquid that comes out of my eyes. When i sleep it accumulates and when i wake up, its like my eyelids were glued shut, because all the accumulated gooey liquid hardened. (this is where you go EWWWWW) But i had this before earlier this year. hmm.

I think i've had more sleep these past 2 days than the week leading up to WR submission. lol. retarded, the lives we lead. but our purpose in life will slowly unfold before our eyes. Just have faith, believe and persevere. especially the third one.

haha loads of big thoughts are on my mind now:
1. How fortunate i am to have met those whom i call friends. (gah even though some of them give nasty presents lol)

2. WHY DIDN'T I FREAKING STUDY HARDER BEFORE PROMOS( trust me i did study haha hard to believe i know)

3. MENDAKI'S PESTA YMC! (even though it means i have to forego the the production that Nabil and Iffah are involved in i'm so sorry guys)

4. IT IS DAMN FUN TO SPAM LIM SI CHENG'S BLOG. especially when HO JIA XIN replies. lol she damn funny haha. would be some party if she was in 23/08 eh. oh well 23/08 isn't that bad.

I know la, "ami is childish" lol WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK. WOOHOOOOOOO!
(edit: actually i do care about what you think hehe i'm too nice la)

amifirdaus will now return to his normal self and attempt to at least read his Physics cue-cards. bye now.

2008-11-18T00:37:00.004+08:00

haha sorry for not replying tags, like i've promised. my flu/sore eyes/ muscle cramps are killing me.

HAHA IBRAHIM HAZM BIN AMRAN get a grip. I prefer the old Shiny Toy Guns too. But bands do change. I really preferred Carah. haha just look at Red Hot Chilli Peppers. haha.

AND AJ HOCKEY ROCKS DAMMIT i'm glad i didn't switch over to AJ soccer. You guys are awesome.

oh. AND. LIM SI CHENG IS A DEAD VS BOY. thanks for the "present" ah. This Friday will be fun eh. I'll see you till then. muahahahahahahaha.

okay lah i think i go sleep now. my eyes hurt. Just watched Hancock. quite a nice movie, first part is pretty boring though.

ok bye now.

2008-11-15T19:05:00.003+08:00

sigh. i feel so helpless these days. Like an insignificant weakling that the education system just preys upon. I mean at one end meritocracy leads the "smartest" (more like most mugger -.- ) to success. These people may ace a H2 Physics paper but may not even know anything about outside world. The injustice of it all.

Then we see the other end of the spectrum. Where the not-so-"bright" get squeezed for every bit of academic prowess they're worth before they get their confidence smashed and tossed aside. I mean meritocracy is fair, but if it makes society such a dog-eat-dog place, then i'd rather have the simple kampong life please. Just don't take the computers away hehehe.

I'm so sorry for not replying tags, but thanks people for the well wishes and for updating yourselves on my life haha (: HAPPY NOW MAKCIKS I HAVE UPDATED. haha. And Yes it was the Briyani Kids who stole my head! I'll reply soon, got no mood. anyways.

I think Britney's Womaniser is damn catchy. But i can already foresee myself getting sick of it. I like the part after the first chorus especially. lol.

daddy'o, you got the swagger of a champion. and the lollipop line is catchy too. hahaha.

Sigh but Britney is so.... mainstream.

So i make sure i get my dose of Shiny Toy Guns, they are never too passe or boring to listen to. Although their songs are getting really screamy recently, especially Ricochet. But still nice i guess. Just different. and Carah is gone. Oh well hello Sisely!

Le Disko shall remain my favourite for now.

I don't remember myself being so addicted to music. lol. I guess its only through songs that i can find myself again.

2008-11-12T22:37:00.002+08:00

MENDAKI'S PESTA YMC! HAHA OMG DAMN EXCITED WHEN I OPENED THE LETTER. Finally something that can take me away from the factory of academia they call AJC.

Oh but i like AJ hockey more and more. awesome man. today was the wildest training EVER.

I also think my parents are the best parents ever. (: They have strong positive influence on my life and my values. Although they tend to not let me go out unless its school and they control my spending very tightly. I'm sorry to say this, but when i look at mats out there, it makes me feel glad and fortunate to have such parents that have steered me in the right direction. Kinda weird to be all appreciative of your parents on a blog, but hey, its my blog, what are blogs for.

And. yeah. then there are certain things that make you worry and stressed every SINGLE DAY.

Things have changed. I now lead a regimented life. And why can't some people accept that.

Its really my friends that help me get by at times. and i wish you would do the same. I really do. Its almost meaningless otherwise.

2008-11-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

OP tomorrow. cmon amifirdaus you can do this. Don't throw away all the hard work you put in and all the sacrifices you made for this retarded hellhole they call a H1 subject. I mean if it was H2 i wouldn't mind haha.

Oh can you believe this, i sprained my ankle just now in school, ended up flat on the ground, while practising Q & A. Don't ask how, such a freak accident i swear. I'm hobbling around now.

In ohter world news, DAMMIT I'M GOING TO MISS ANOTHER PITCH TRAINING TOMORROW WTF LA SHITSHITSHIT AHHHH.

I can make it to J2 i know i can.

right?

2008-11-05T19:50:00.008+08:00

Behind my innocent eyes
A life of despair

Behind my cheerful smile
A world of stale air

Behind my spoken words
The truth I have to bear

Do you even know me?
Do you even care?

You live in your own world
You're clearly not aware

Of the life that I truly lead
Of the truth that was always there

You refuse to accept it
You give me that deathly stare

And yet you can still say
That I'm not being fair

Can't you see I'm struggling?
Breaking from wear and tear?

Yet I'll survive this JC life
I'll show the world, I swear.

2008-11-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

Damn. today was such a rollercoaster. I definitely got taken on a ride. It proved too much in the end. OH but my pw group got low/high EE for our presentation OHYEAH haha, with our retarded "power rangers" ending (: awesomeshityooo.

On the way home, i thought the bus driver was driving ASLEEP. But it just turns out he has REALLY REALLY REALLY small eyes. in fact, they were more like slits.

My brother keeps doing the stupid Pan's Labyrinth monster thing. with his hands covering his eyes and growling like some no-life freak. lol amusing actually. haha

And to Katy Perry, you. are. awesome. I want your album. I want your babies. HAHA okay no scratch that. at the very least i want your songs haha.

You pretty much saved the day with your bloody addictive song.

So today was full of ups and downs. too much if you ask me. AND I MISSED A BORDERS OUTING WITH MAKCIKS UNITED (MAK U). haha

Now i don't know if i should study. Because my eye hurts aaargh dammit. and i'm hot n' cold (HAHA :D ) because i'm really cold with a fever now. Lets all hope that amifirdaus feels better tomorrow. Now to either study orrrrr chillaxzxz.

AND DAMN IT I MISSED A BLOODY. PITCH. TRAINING!!!! ahh wth la. I'm missing t his and that and sacrificing a lot for pw now. i hate it.

okay gonna mope somewhere at home about pw now. bye. :/

2008-10-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

HOOOORAY NO MORE MALAY FOREVER! well unless i get a C and below for it then i wanna retake it. yknow actually malay is like some getaway in JC, its really not that hard. Quite innate if you think about it. Of course for me, what could be more innate to me than english.

I keep thinking if i should have dropped H2 Chemistry instead. Oh well no point regretting whats done is done.

OP left! and stinky I&R. I thought it was the easiest shit. but i was wrong, damn wrong. its like some mini-EoM. horrible. okay.

i'm bloody excited to go to university even though i'm struggling to make it to JC2. haha typical me i guess.

Oh there's a peribahasa for this! but who cares, i'm done with malay woohooooo.

bye now, gotta edit OP slides. zoooooooooooooooom.

2008-10-29T16:18:00.003+08:00

haha i decided to drop H2 maths to H1. H2 is 100% pure maths/insanity.

But i'm worried, what if i couldn't get into the Arts Faculty? But i can right? i mean there is greater demand for science courses and i have priority over arts students anyway in choosing places in the FASS. sad, but its the reality for Arts students.

I played with a hamster during OP timeslot, and read my peribahasas. so cool right. and my friends kept laughing at the peribahasas. haha.

okay, not as happy as yesterday, but its a start. a restart. a good restart.

i'm an OGL haha yay. okay gotta go do malay now my paper is tomorrow.

good luck to all the H1 Mother Tongue kids out there! (:

2008-10-28T20:28:00.005+08:00

hmm still don't know what H2 to downgrade.

All i know is that i want to get in the the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences to do Political Science. I've loved this field of study ever since i was a kid, i just never knew what it's called until like sec 2. haha.

i really love it, interesting like hell. FASS school of political science here i come! I MUST PASS THAT RETEST.

AHH today was sinful. I need to run. Mad Jack's again, followed by coffee bean. and i already ate briyani for brunch in school. argh. Aisha jealous lol. And the most sinful and awesome part?

AWESOME COMPANY! haha my SJI friends and AJ friends! (: so happy. i feel so uplifted today. great friends and strong aspirations. I finally feel like i'm going somewhere in life.

ahem. farhanah jambu and hani belo were there. hahahaha and and the others who didn't come but got minah nicknames anyway are mira mentel and aisha kecik(irony intended heehee bergurau only la Aisha). and khai kecoh! HAHA minah-minah AJ. Also got to meet my SJI buddies( awesome buddies i must add) Icky and Casey( who i haven't met in what feels like eons, other that the LJS dinner).

This post has to many bracketed sidenotes. oh and thats the wrong use of irony, i think aisha kecik is closer to a paradox. very common misuse of the literature device known as irony. ask your GP teacher for more info! haha okay wth ami is being a geek. but hey, language geek is more like a thespian. i guess thats cool. :D

woohoo! i am content with life. (:

2008-10-26T07:46:00.005+08:00

okay tried to sleep just now. failed. okay another long post haha

read my previous post. It sounds kinda snobby. So i'm contemplating and fussing, thinking whether i'm a snobby person because intentions are not always read properly and sometimes actions with harmless intent can be interpreted as some monstrous act of snobby-ness. Well, i hope not. I'm sincerely a nice person at heart, sometimes TOO nice i think.

nyeh okay poor aunties not all of them deserve the textual trashing i just dished out, but some of them really do, with their mulut laser ishhhh. my dad's side is the takbolehtahan side. why is it always the dad's side that is more problematic.

My uncle on dad's side thinks that his son will do well in life, given some private training or whatever. The boy is in East Spring Secondary Normal Tech. nothing wrong so far, because hey, our ITE is the best in the world yknow, we shouldn't look down on ITE too much. i agree. but what annoys the shit out of me is the things they do. I mean just go study whatever NITEC thing you're pursuing, no need to add all the gangsterism and tattoos and rowdy misdemeanour in its just a disgrace to malays. especially to those who work hard to make a name for themselves and malays alike.

Oh i've deviated. okay anyways, yeah his life is so comfy and all, although he is such a mat with the smoking and disregard of the functional working world and all and yeah his parents have the nothing-money-can't-fix attitude because they're quite well to do at the moment. It saddens me though, that this is their idea of success. Why must Malays be like this, Abdullah Munsyi was damn right.

Its so weird, how my aunties can be PAISEH when i do well. I mean, share the joy lah, no need to be paiseh. You should be happy that your nephew has reaped the fruits of his labour.

OH i must thank my mum for a wonderful saturday. Breeks and Mad Jack in one day haha wowness. Breeks lasagna is insanely to die for go and try it. Fondue isn't awesome(avocado is like some badly made puteri salad yuck) and the iced strawberry and lemon tea was toooooooo sweet. I actually had some sort of sugar rush just typing that, no kidding lol. okay yummy. Mad Jack's burgers are wow. fries are fat and succulent with nice texture of crunchy outside and soft inside. tartarsauzzzz rocked my casbah. Quiche... er... nah although the crust was to the extreme. Sports drink was also damn sweet but its healthy i guess?

poor mum, she kept saying she could make one weeks worth of lauk with the money she spent. thanks mum (: so everyone had nice dinner yesterday. Dad had company dinner, big brother had his TPJC graduation dinner, while mum, me and the twins rocked Breeks and Mad Jack, all in one Saturday.

yknow life seems to be unable to decide on whether it should be good or bad to me. At times its all wonderful and fluffy, the next its horrible, ignominous, and damn insidious.

Maybe i'm supposed to decide for myself if life should be happy or hell.

Maybe not.

2008-10-26T04:07:00.004+08:00

can't sleep. its 4.07 am. I woke up frantically, don't know why. scared my brother. haha.

So i plopped myself into the chair and turn on the com. I stoned for a while before realizing the computer was all set to go. okay, so i clicked on internet browser icon. click.

Then i went to my blog. for no reason. checked my tagboard.

And then i was touched. touched by the hand of friendship. :D

Thanks to my makciks and the glam girls and the prata princess of prataland for the support, it really means a lot. Because i think i'm closer to my friends than my family nowadays.

PANCAROBA ALERT. Not many aunties and relatives like me or even try to interact with me, just because i'm untouchable to them academically. You see i'm in AJ right. single pointer uh-huh okay. and their kids are ummm normal tech types? with some normal academic kids from normal schools and a second cousin in IJC. So my family's pretty well off, seeing where i am and my brother in TPJC taking H3 maths and all(seriously what a freak).

I remember one of my auntie's reaction when she saw my O's results. " ANAK KAU GILER EH? GILERRRRRR!" lol okayyyyy. yeah. Its not impossible, just stop rewarding your kids with PSPs in front of my face just to seemingly internalise their lack of academic quality. Newsflash, you're compounding it. My aunties make it sound like being street smart is allllllll the rage in Paris and oohlala you can get anywhere as long as you have it. And one of my aunties even made fun of the fact that my english is good and i speak english to my parents and all, in front of my face, even during Hari Raya no less. It didn't help that i was a fencer, because yknow its such a "upmarket" sport to them. so she made fun of that too. I was so embarassed and flustered with rage that my own blood could do such a thing. I mean she's in her 30s can she be more mature. OH HAHA BTW AUNTIES i bet my malay grade owns your kids' malay grades too. eat your heart out, if you have one. tsk. that beats your bahasa pasar that you proudly promote to get to Paris or whatever, with that not-so-good english.

you should see me during Hari Raya. I'm really quiet because i have no one to talk to or relate to. I mean there are many other families with the same situation but the cousins and aunties get along fine. ):

I mean, when you're facing this situation, it would really help for family to be behind me. And with all my relatives staying away from me and my dad running his mouth about how i should just go ITE, just because i didn't clear my promos, just doesn't help.

Does anybody understand? I don't think so. And this is just one of the many problems that plague my life. God, give me a break please. I don't know. maybe i'm just too frustrated to see that my situation isn;t all that bad. Or maybe it really is that bad. Only time will tell.

yknow what, my rambling has totally worn away the warm fuzzy friendship feeling i had earlier. gah. great, amifirdaus. oh, damn. i feel like a sorry-ass loserbitch for blogging like that.

And what happened? I'm afraid of even trying to reach out to you now. we left the magical chemistry we had behind in IJ. ):

2008-10-25T14:20:00.002+08:00

i had so much to say. but yeah i don't think it matters. anyways i think i forgot most of it. all i know is that:

1) I don't know if i should quit hockey and join soccer,
2) I will never want to be sent to school by my dad again after the hurtful comments
3) wtf lah when i'm in JC science just because of him against my own wishes
4) I really miss Kumz Club ):
5) AJ is such a horrible place
6) My class is too much to handle with all the smartypoops and i'll really miss Azfar ):
7) I don't know if i can muster the mental strength and persevere through the retest
8) But i don't want to retain because i'll miss all the beautiful faces i got to know
9) I think i'm dropping H2 maths to H1 maths and i have to quit MLDDS
10) Where are you?

It really feels like the aftermath of some huge disaster. I feel so lost and exhausted.

Somebody save me please.

2008-10-13T22:41:00.003+08:00

The Kompang Dudes! Don't mess with us or we'll drum up a fuss.

Farewell Assembly was a blast, like i said before. (: This picture was taken while we were in our designated room, waiting to perform. The lighting in the picture is kinda bad, but hey its the memories that matter right. Still we look so dark.

Then Aisha will quip:
" But you are dark! Oh where's ami? I can't see ami!! hahahaahahahamuahahaa!!!"

Typical makcik that Aisha. She and her 45 year old Makcik sidekick Syamira are so kecoh.

Had hockey training today. Scored a winning goal during training! so happy. tsk forget about my beep test. totally sucks. argh.

Okay i have to touch up on my OCIP proposal now. tata.

2008-10-12T18:04:00.005+08:00

HELLO!

Friday was awesome. MLDDS put up a great performance, considering our small size and limited resources. :D After the thing, we were really trigger happy. I really enjoyed being part of MLDDS that day. (: And it was some makcik's 45th birthday. ahemmm. HAHAHA.

AHA! then comes Saturday. I sleeeeeept a lot that day. woke up late. In the end i was an hour late for Aisha's open house. But it was still a blast. Yesterday and friday were days when i was genuinely happy. Ever since i became part of Anderson JC, i don't think i even need both hands to count how many of those days i've had. I ripped the pictures from Hani with permission. As usual. haha (:

YES! dah sampai.

Food was yummy :D

Makcik Aisha: BANJIR THEATRE! -flips hand*

We karaoke-d.

Mandatory group photo. (:

4 years and counting, ym buddy! (:

Okay then we hopped over to Hani's place, all smiles.

She threatened to sit on me if i didn't take a picture with her. So i did to save my life. HAHAHA kidding. Silat girl okay, watch out mats!

Aisha flashes an evil grin while Syamira is being oh so glamorous.

the two evil witches who changed Halim's contact in my phone to Fauzi's. And named it Halim also. tsk tsk. But with my dexterity ahemm, i figured it out. (:

aha hooooray. now i have to finish my proposal for a Sports Day for Disabled Kids in Malang, Indonesia! wheeeee. and i think i'm raya-ing too. Oh and Malay homeworks! dratz. get ready to burn midnight oil, amifirdaus. :/

oh, and thanks for talking and listening to me, Asyraf, Jaswin and Kirin. (:

yay.

2008-10-09T23:18:00.004+08:00

I don't get you.

I hate to pretend.

I don't care, i'm not going to be affected anymore.

N O M O R E M R N I C E G U Y.

ahaha on the other hand, my pw group totally rocks. :D OP is fun.

I don't enjoy ML anymore. Its becoming so ugh nevermind.

tomorrow, i'll be screaming;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAMIRA!

Saluran Suria, penuh ceriaaaa. haha thats how it goes right? so catchy. okay enough said. goodnight.

2008-10-08T02:33:00.004+08:00

now i feel like a spoilt brat. kinda

because while i was embroiled in a battle with my own predicament, i forgot to notice the predicament others are in. And i'm not alone.

wow okay now that certain things are clear to me, it seems that some have it even tougher.

And now i see the effort they put in. argh i feel ungrateful kinda. ):

ML is still falling apart. ): I want the old ML back.

Oh and i didn't realise that Cikgu Raudah already gave birth! haha. okay.

ok back to OP. bleh.

2008-10-07T23:05:00.005+08:00

Basically, today went like this:

5.30 am: Alarm clock rings, but i almost can't get up because i'm sore all over. Hockey training the day before was a killer. 20 rounds+160 push-ups+60 sit ups+ triple suicide run. ouch screamed the legs.

6.50 am: okay so i managed to haul myself to school. talk talk, wait wait.

7.24 am: Something happens, which convinces me that Halim and Taufiq are such M-A-T-S. at least they're smart mats okay. working hard for the nation's future. And the other mats hmm? okay haha getting carried away here.

7.26 am: I laughed.

7.45 am to 12.30pm : back-breaking pw. This was the most tiring part of the day. But i began the day tired and sore anyway.

12.30 pm to 2 pm: gather gather! its time to rehearse.

2.30pm: The technical rehearsal begins proper.

Between 2.30pm and about 6.00pm: I am tired. Got pissed off like crazy. Told people i was tired, but no i was pissed. Apparently, when i'm sad it makes others sad. Too bad, i can't pretend all the time. Although thats exactly what i do most of the time. I realise that life has lost its colour. I'm really sad, depressed and pissed off by 5 pm. Cikgu's talk depressed me even more, and thinking of promos made it worse.

I hate it when i get so emo. Then i just can't talk or do anything but stare into the sky or at a bird and ask it questions, expecting answers. Then people go, "ami why so quiet? are you okay?" and i feel so stupid and emo.

However i think by the 2nd run of the rehearsal, i'm slightly happier because i nailed the performance without a hitch. And Ms Tay said i was the only one smiling. Its a good thing i guess. Okay so i rethink the emo part.

6.30 pm: wow that moment of contentment lasted like half an hour. because walking home, i suddenly feel emo again. I know the reason why.

It pisses me off how i'm being teated like some piece of dirt and being trampled on for your entertainment and satisfaction. I've been putting up with it for so long, but there's a limit. And gush! the dam burst. But i manage to control the feelings that inundated me. And Asyraf asks me twice about my quietness. I can't believe no one can see why i'm just so sad.

7.30pm: I'm home, after a surprisingly nice conversation with Azfar on the way home. Since we go home together. Because we live one block apart. lol. you get it lah.

Number of times i faked laughter and happiness: a million times
Number of times i laughed because something was funny: 2

Moral of the story to me:
-stop acting happy for others when i'm actually depressed/pissed
-stop being so forgiving and nice

Moral of the story to the Semangkas:
-You can joke about it once, but don't overdo it. Its just not funny, it pisses me off.
-DO NOT BE NICE TO ME AND THEN SUDDENLY JUST EXCLUDE ME. WTF that really pissed me off. If you don't want me there just don't even talk to me in the first place.
-don't treat me like a kid. You can do it once or twice, i'll take it as a joke. Just PLEASE DON'T treat me that way 24/ 7.

for the record, i would not like to be a semangka. I am also not inferior to you semangkas, especially semangka perasan. wth. i hate this game of pretend.

Oh and i don't know how to eat a chicken pie, sadly. You know those mini ones. the crust crumbles so easily. How do you eat that without making a mess?

It feels like my personality, happiness and motivation have been dealt with a big blow. I don't really know who i am now. Or who i should be. My own class and MLDDS seems to be falling apart for some reason, and as for hockey, i like it, but the sad truth is, i like soccer more. and i regret not joining soccer from the start, because now i can't bear to leave hockey. with all the amazing friends i've made there.

And i wish there was more to say, but as for now, the post will have to remain that way.

2008-10-03T20:26:00.004+08:00

TODAY WAS FUN! i needed it. I love City Hall now lol. I think it could turn into my second home. I also thank God that AJ is right beside an MRT station and bus interchange. talk about central, its in Yio Chu Kang. Pretty central right? we could choose to eat at City Hall or Woodlands, no problem. haha consumers want choice, and i got a farking huge consumer surplus. Okay stop it ami, this is verging on econs nerd mode.

Anyways i have a newfound interest in Zara, nice shirts and hooooodies. Topman still doesn't scream me. My birthday isn't anytime soon though. haha just a suttle hint for my readers. hehehe. I am brokez. zero monayye. zilcheroo.

I swear i am turning into a full-fledged malay boy. Not mat please haha. according to Mr Senior Sahmadi, i am the second most Mat person in AJ, after Halim! :O AND THAT DELIMA THINKS I LOOK MAT! a good looking mat haha, but still a mat no less. please shoot me right now, i'd rather die. Today i spoke so much malay. I'm proud of myself. (: Although most of it was to poke harmless fun at Aisha. lol of course we all know its gurau-gurau only.

I can't wait for AJC raya. and YMC raya too. wonder if there's an AMKPS raya. but then all the mats would be there. and the minahs. eeeeeeeeeargh. AMKPS malay class was bad. I didn't like it. Well got some nice people lah, but there's always those who spoil the proverbial broth.

umm thats it lah i better finish my OP preparations and possibl start on I&R. I hate PW. My group rocks though go AJ107! (: here we come, A!

And i feel so much better now.

2008-10-01T10:12:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

may you be blessed with peace and happiness. now lets go storm people's homes for great food and money! haha kidding.

2008-09-30T22:14:00.003+08:00

I don't usually post 2 entries in a day, but then i read someone else's entry. about my sec 1 and sec 2 class. All the emotions that engulfed me during those trouble years in my life hit me again. I never want to feel that way again.

I never had a chance to be happy those days. And it sucks to see that most people from that class of mine thought it was the perfect class and what have you. Things that happened drove me so crazy and depressed that i told my dad i wanted to die, one way or another. I can't believe i did that. sad part is, he chose to ignore my desperate cry for help.

Those were the days that made me create this blog for a place for my own thoughts and hopes to proliferate and dance, totally unrestricted. It helped me a lot, as i crawled my way back into safe levels of self-esteem. I'm sorry but i disagree, my life was being unfairly controlled and i felt like such a loser. Today the only remnants of that past is the blogskin i decided to keep as a reminder.

Because i felt so liberated to leave the class. I felt free. And yet i'm somehow glad those days happened, because it woke me up. It was the nascence of the newfound spirit i revelled in once in got my new class. Which was so much better i must add. I'm glad i was able to pick up the pieces of my life and start over anew, all by myself. I never did tell anyone these feelings, and maybe i should have. One of my classmates did try to reach out though, after he found my dark, dark poems that were the hallmark of those two years in my life.

now the world knows. I thank my former classmate for writing that entry. Because now i am truly free.

Instead of destroying me, which it almost did, those days made me stronger and more aware of the real cruel world we live in. thank you, because i wouldn't be who i am today if it were not for those two years.

okay i feel like a loser again. And its Hari Raya tomorrow. this sucks. ):

2008-09-30T20:58:00.002+08:00

haha actually i was feeling super lazy to update, and got pw stuff to do, and OCIP programme proposal. ohno. but here i am. (once again, torn into pieces, can't deny it can't pretend) hey i like Kelly Clarkson's songs! full of convincing emotion and strong vocals. sweet.

haha okay first the tags. hmm.

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hamtaf: aper siollll. PW MENDAK SIOLLLL haha minah tak menjadi la hamtaf. and i'm the mat tak menjadi. heehee.

Delima: lol you need to see a doctor or change your mirrors. lol kidding la. (x

Weijie: OKAY LAH i believe you. kinda. still not convinced though. how serious could his crime be for it to warrant a citizen's arrest? (sort of right) haha.

Prav: I heard, haha poor NYJCians. Even sadder if you're an Arts student theirs isn't over for 2 more weeks. haha but you would know right. GOOD LUCK MUCHOS AMIGOS. (:

Syidah: hahahaha lol who says can come my house? because i don't think anyone will be at home most probably. My family is the go-out-everyday-for-hari-raya-type. i really mean everyday. lol. its crazy. haha but if you want i could sample some! (:

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tick tock. Farewell Assembly so near. hope i don't screw up the kompang performance.

pak-bum-pak-bum-pak-pak-bum-bum!

2008-09-28T08:50:00.005+08:00

good morning!

bleh sahur was cheesy. literally, my mum went berserk and cooked everything with cheese, ever since she got her new oven. I even baked cheese biscuits with her. (: mum says chocolate cookies are next.

Baking is fun. I just don't like the cleaning up part. lol. Am i the only guy to say this or what. No wait, Halim baked cookies that one time. maybe he likes it too. shrugs. But there were M&Ms in his cookies! ARGHMELAMINEOHNOCHINASUCKS.

I watched West Ham play against Fulham this morning after sahur, cos i couldn't sleep, and i missed the live telecast anyway. West Ham's first away win this season. :D Etherington and Cole scored. and Murphy scored one for Fulham. Gianfranco Zola has a perfect start to his West Ham career so far. ASHTON IS OUT WITH AN ANKLE INJURY UNTIL NEXT YEAR! ohno. He's damn cool. One of my favourite strikers definitely. :D

Lucas Neill was disappointing. And it was weird to see Zamora, Pantsil and Konchesky playing for Fulham. I didn't really like Zamora anyway, but i did like Pantsil and Konchesky. Oh well.

2-1 is okay i guess. Bolton next!

Green rocks :D

And an unexpected result at Emirates. what a mess. Can't believe Hull won Arsenal. But the Geovanni goal was nice eh.

After Bolton, West Ham play Hull! gasp then a possibly angry Arsenal side, followed by Manchester United and Middlesbrough. And Manchester City after that. tough fixtures.

nvm go AJ hockey! :D i know, no link. Doesn't matter.

2008-09-26T22:02:00.003+08:00

HAHA I'M BACK BECAUSE THE PROMOS ARE OVER!

but. still. busy. well. at. least. the. stress. is. gone.

1)so happy so very happy
2)so confused
3)its weird now that its over
4)OOH there's a big spider near the computer.
5)oh its a clump of hair swaying in the wind. my sister lah tu.
6)OCIP Indonesia Sports Day/Farewell Party Proposal due on the 10th October. ):
7) A'LEVEL MALAY is so near.
8) A'level PW too. ):
9) Oh no.
10) WHO CARES, HARI RAYA IS SO NEAR YAY

haha look at the poor tagboard. must reply so muchos. okay i start now haha

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jerms: hello! :D

Hani: Haha yes combined malay class is fun eh. and we got more rightrightright. wootwoot. Already buker-ed with you!

Sufi: HAHA no problemo Mr Sufi McSilat Bin kulit sabun. although i'm wondering how you found this blog. anyways i can't believe i could identify you in the large silat group. Good luck for exams boy! (:

Najiha: haha linked. you spammer! yes, i have a blog, and its 4 years old. or 3. either one. i think 3. :D

Delima: alamak gatal lah you. can't you just stick with one url? haha okay the url is... ahem. haha.

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heheh i just feel so happy. The world is right again, because Newcastle and Tottenham are at the bottom.

And the team with the best home record so far? Its West Ham. But how long can this last? Is Gianfranco Zola the right man for the job? hmmmmm

:D

okay i thought i would blog more than this and i had pictures to share, but lazy lah. maybe next time? maybe never. lol because i'm quite a great procrastinator. deserve an olympic medal for my amazing procrastination.

okay lah, i go do something else now. shit i'm bored.

2008-08-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

I'm putting my blog on HIATUS.

Because promos are near. hmm.

Oh i'll reply tags here first then.

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fir: what weirdo! you too okay haha normal is so boring. (:

farhanah: yep. homework. i think. yeah. ): sad right. yes my eyes are much better now! but there's still the dark ring on my eye. :/

hana: haha righttt. Astronaut from Singapore is like a pork floss bun in a mosque. It will never happen. haha but anyhoo, i wanna cha-cha haha i thought it was fun. And yes, hazmmm is talking about broken social scene. common taste in music i see. oiboiusbgoixdgf

hazm: HUH. whattttt?

dawn: YES SHE IS! (: for serious. haha anyway she's pretty much the same, maybe more shy than i remembered. It has been like 6 years right. haha. yeah you and desiree were line-up partners in primary 1, and i was in front! why do i remember this stuff. haha but yeah she poofed away really quickly after primary 1. poof!

JOEY: lol hurray for Joey! x)

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haha okay okay so hiatus has begun! i'll be back on the 26th of september to share my joy. (:

And for all the muslim peeps, happy fasting! (: yay bye for now.

i can see the sunset in your eyes;
you just took a fall from paradise. (:

2008-08-25T04:24:00.004+08:00

I'm awake at this funny hour. But i'm not laughing.

I suddenly feel like running away to Vietnam and setting up a farm.

Because life is too uninteresting now. I'd prefer farming in Vietnam.

Okay scratch Vietnam. Farming in NEW ZEALAND WOWOWOW now that is a life.

I wish we could all just play and laugh and just pick the job we want in life and skip the whole studying part. Because its possible. Just so darn possible.

In the end, you can't eat money.

Thats why i'd rather be a farmer. in New Zealand.

But its the AJ melayus and my class and the hockey guys and even the OCIPmates and you that keep me going.

Because behind my 24/7 attempt to smile, is a sad boy who wants to play.

I don't like that heartwarming feeling when i have flashbacks. It makes me smile in public. As in when i'm alone in public. which is not good. But its happened so many times and then i'll stop smiling when i detect that odd stare at me. Singaporeans should stop staring so much. Before i bludgeon them with a kamus.

And yeah, i've always seen the kamus as a potential weapon. Hilarious if you were to throw it at someone's face.

And this tag, no wait its a post, is way too rambly now. okay, i'll go iron my uniform! bye, and see you in AJ.

can't wait to say TGIF.

2008-08-24T20:12:00.002+08:00

Okay haha i know its very very late, but i wanted to do the physics quiz since its like 3% bonus for promos AND i need all the help i can get, so...

I finished the whole e-lecture on wave motion! when it was supposed to be done a longlong time ago.

Okay then, i felt so inspired and motivated to study physics and do the quizzes right.

wrong. I realised that i had a bloody AQ shit thing to do i was so pissed. the ONE time i actually felt like studying and GP gets in the way. i know, weird to be angry at a subject, but yes, i hate you, GP. you're only interesting when we're arguing in class about issues. And then, you keep disappointing me with tasteless and unimaginative assignments. AHH going bonkers.

So, i guess i'll do the stupid GP work now.

And i'm changing plan with Starhub, but my number's the same, so for now, my line got cut and i'm uncontactable momentarily, and i'm starting my new plan on 1st september. finally. oh, its a really new plan, that has free unlimited smses! omygah. mum went and got me the new plan all by herself, i didn't even know. awesome lah my mum.

I just realised my family doesn't have much family photos. as in of 6 of us in one shot.

and the cow jumped over the moon. AQ ahhh bye.

2008-08-23T21:37:00.003+08:00

meow.

okay haha i just love cats.

anyway my eye feels better. But i think the degree went up. so upsetting. for a guy with 500 degrees for both sides. argh.

It was bad this morning, i got big gigantic headaches for a few seconds everytime i looked at bright stuff, and by noon, looking out the window gave me huge monster headaches. Felt like Dracula.

I woke up with my right eye covered in some oozy fluid. and i struggled to open my right eye. and it hurt. which is why i decided not to go for kompang training, after a long monologue. It was a tough decision, because honestly, i've (unexpectedly)grown to love kompang. its giving me an avenue to let my stress flow into my palms and turning the pent-up feelings into lovely beats that just make you move. and from personal experience, makes you sm,ile like a goofy idiot as well, for some unknown reason.

haha if only my primary school malay teacher could see this. She will just die of a heart attack and come back to life and die again. from the sheer amazement of it all.

anyways, i didn't go to the doctor, because walking in daylight made my eye and head hurt. plus i was lazy.

Wonder if there's a pw meeting tomorrow. hmm.

okay will reply tags as promised;

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D'♥: uhh frog? hahhaha okay.

SIOWYU: tell you what? its not miz hahaha

JOEY: Joey, the feeling is mutual (: however, potato+grass= 3. okay will relink you. (:

S.R: hahaha ooh do you go to Plaza SG often since its beside your place? lol WEIMING i know its you! haha you swiss boy

SYAFS: haha read your tag too late i guess? hahaha but my eye feels better! (: hope it won't be so red tomorrow. haha i wonder how a performance of my contemporary kompang thing would look like. would be damn cool.

KALKAL: PEMALAS? more like pesakit lah you slenge. yes haha my name is nice keep saying it don't stop hehehe. Anyways if i saw you today my eyes will suffer even more ahaha.

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Okay. Suddenly i feel motivated and i have sudden urges to play badminton, indulge in fencing with old teammates, go for a run, study physics and play hockey. And i never thought being in an MLDDS could be so fun. AJ melayus are just awesome (:

haha okay, going for some late night stroll with my family haha sounds good. bye (:

2008-08-22T23:31:00.002+08:00

ohmypantat.

My eye is bloody red.

Right eye. And the vision is blurrer. slightly, but still.

I'm very worried. hmm hownowbrowncow.

very painful now. kay, only when i look at bright things. like the com screen. so i'll go off and rest it. byebye.

will reply tags later. like tomorrow. owww

ARGH

2008-08-20T21:46:00.002+08:00

heyheyheymyeyehurtsandsoiwillnotblogmuchtoday.

TAG REPLIES! tagtagtag

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SYAFS: ohmy Balqis! Would be calling you Qissy or smth haha yes indeed, your mum has just salvaged your social life right there. good foresight by your mum haha. Kesian lah Syamira. hahaha

Cti-nHuda: haha you mean IJ girl! how can you not miss me haha. Are you sure no mats? remember Yuhua Secondary team was full of them haha. Yes, a friendly would be great, if you're okay with being thrashed hahahahhaa :P

STRANGA: SOFFIA! Can you not be a minah and stop irritating me. annoying sister

JOEY: JOEY! you should be thankful of your secondary school life, because JC is like hell. Unless you're gifted, then JC should be fun. ): doodaadii ahaha

SYAMIRA: haha are you sure? maybe your parents coughed when they registered your name hahahhahahaha i'm so evil. Halim can bake! :o

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Dah. so tired. got workworkwork also. Life is so unfair at times.

I just wanna liiiiiiiiiiiiiive.

quintessential potatoes dance to the morning sun. bye kambengs (:

2008-08-18T21:57:00.003+08:00

Distress engulfed me earlier this very early morning, at my sad attempt in making ends meet. no, i didn't work in the night shift, haha i was trying to finish up homework.

I was up all the way till 5 a.m, and i decided to take a nap to relieve the headache. woke up with a fever dammit. woke up superrr late anyways so yeah. didn't go school. Heard Jason got pelted with eggs. i so wanted to see. shit. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JASON AND YANNING ANYWAYS! (:

and its the 18th.

And the whole Iqbal thing, i'm super confused now.

Maths test tomorrow. great. i'm dead. wish me luck anyways, I'll be super happy and relieved if i pass hhahahahahaha

But this whole year i've seen my expectations crushed. My paradigms shifting, my laid-back and talkative self has been eroded and reduced to some loser who is gripped with uncertainty over the weeks to come.

I was talking to someone on the phone today and i realised that i didn't have much to say. Not like before. The stress has definitely changed me.

According to some article Farhanah told me about, AJC and MJC are the only JCs that set their tests at a higher standard than the A'level syllabus.

Its either sink or swim.

But its the 18th anyways. (: I'm sorry i couldn't meet you today.

MY IRRITATING SISTER KEEPS DISTURBING ME

haha my mum had so much to say during the table tennis final, like;

"why Li Jiawei pin her hair like a nerd?!"

"Wang Yue Gu is so round and old"

"the China player look possessed, like the Terminator"

"wah so fast ah! is this kuda kepang or table tennis?"

And speaking of such rambling-a-lings, tag replies;

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JOEY: hahaha you are mad. I only have six subjects! unless you count PW. haha i'm goreng pisang now. the world loves me.

DELIMA: miss bird? go Jurong Bird Park then hahahaha

HANA: haha ouch whacking me with that ugly tie won't do me any good hahahaha eh seriously bring it on Friday and whack me haha i'll bring my SJI tie. yes the 18th (:

SYAFS: I know i like my name too! haha and your name is. common? But at least its not Batrisyia or Siti Maimunah or Fatimah ahahaha or Syamira HAHA

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wow longlong post. ooh nachos. I'm eating so much junk now, my sister's party was so full of it. Okay. Will run on wednesday. Oh no wait i'm studying on wednesday. CWO's on thursday. i'll run on thursday yes. Friday definitely gonna run. zoooooom right. ciao the nachos are calling.

2008-08-18T01:43:00.003+08:00

doing stupid PW AND MALAY AND CHEM (GRR) at this absurd hour. i'll be so ugly with my tired snoopy face tomorrow.

But the real reason i want to post right now is that there's something urgent plucking at my heartstrings.

this may sound gay, and i assure you i'm not. but.

IQBAL COME BACK. you're making everyone so worried now, and you told me you're okay, but i guess you still need time. I just wanna say, let your friends help you through this rough patch. Your TJ friends really care, and i'm glad that you have such company in TJ, and don't forget your SJI friends too. We're always there for you. Just reach out to us okay. (: I mean, we could always talk at the beach or smth. you know, like the picnic with me and k7 haha that was awesomeness. gooooooooood times.

Life sucks. and for once, i'm not super fixated on getting promoted. And Singapore's olympic silver medal cannot compare to the times we've had. (but its still a big deal haha Go Singapore). Just come back, if you read this, okay? (:

Once again, i am not gay. haha.

oh, footnote. Must call Dinie. okay i think i should finish as soon as i can now, maybe i can sleep like 2 hours or smth this time if i work fast. whoopeedoo. -.-

Cedar Girls > Raffles Girls btw despite their hideous uniform hahahaha okay bye

2008-08-15T23:14:00.007+08:00

Life is so tiring now. I am drowning in remedials. I hope the remedials are effective. really. I'm so tired.

haha so the past week has been stressful. Came to school at 9.20 am on thursday because i dropped my contacts! found them on the floor, but i took like 2 hours. Marble floor okay damn hard to see it. My contacts cost a bomb lah so yeah i can't lose em. Its gonna last 2 years amigos. Have to do some stupid shit because of my very late arrival. And missed the volleyball lesson in first period. DAMN IT

So thats besides the point of the post. Which is to tell you that school is killing me. Fridays have never seemed so glorious and welcoming before. yay

OH GUYS haha my phone bill still haven't paid so if you send me messages i can't reply. and i can't call. hope you guys understand. but i can still answer calls and read messages, so keep spreading the love.

i have a malay essay to do, two chemistry worksheets to do, and wake up early for kompang practice tomorrow. hmm. maybe i'll do it tomorrow.

i hate GP now. There is no subject i take at the moment that sparks interest in me anymore. I miss geography. this is so dumb, i'm gonna do this for one more year.

pictures picturs i need more pictures. maybe tomorrow will be fun. Do chickens speak german behind our backs? gasp.

oh and before i go, i'll reply tags here! because my tagboard has been floodedededed, because i haven't been to the blog in almost a week. you could just die in the stress. okay okay replies.

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Fiona: HI MRS MARVIN bwahahahaa Jaguar House is better!

Wei Jie: silly weggie. i know my name is nice haha don't steal it. Randomness is next to happiness. or madness. haha (:

Joey: hahaha papaya gangster? where did that come from hahaha. yes yes DooDaaDii. its nice to say haha

Prav: no! briyani children is way better. okay haha sounds weird. i love weird. haha.

D'♥: haha i got SKEELZ. haha no lah being random is so easy. no i am not a water papaya man. ape je. haha and yes such happiness. Go Singapore!

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that reminded me, CONGRATS TO TEAM SINGAPORE'S WOMEN PADDLERS FOR REACHING THE FINALS! woooooh yay and you know what i think feng tianwei was the star of the show woohoo. Medal, finally. The Koreans' style of return was soooo frustrating but we did it hoorah. Although we imported them all. still doesn't look that good, haha. Lets import babies next to increase the population. Seriously, what will the government do next.

okay, i should go off now. bye to all (:

2008-08-10T19:02:00.002+08:00

Watched the repeat telecast of NDP 08. and, i couldn't spot the AJ cheerleaders at all, but i saw AJC in the credits. haha. good job anyways, with the training sessions and the bruising and all . haha.

But i saw my SJI junior Sufi! haha i've always thought he's some amazingly talented freak who will do well in life. -cue envy- after all, its hard being the silat world champion for his age group, being a prefect, MLDDS SJI exco, doing well in studies, and looking like a bar of soap. lol. unfairness reigns.

He and his silat friends did a good job of prancing around and showcasing their slick silat moves. Silat is fun. If only i had the time to do silat.

okay, i've digressed. but i don't care, because i wanna go do malay now. been slacking a lot this weekend. okay byebye.

2008-08-09T22:10:00.004+08:00

Today i attended a wedding. nice wedding. Izzah's brother got married. went with AJ melayus.

Asyraf was the dad and Syamira was the mum. haha. look we took a picture weee

And Briyani Dum is not a side dish my kambengs. it is not. haha.

And Kirin needs boiled egg-peeling classes. haha

I am tired. Slept like an idiot when i got home. Seriously. Argh.

Oh and my tagboard is flooded. so i will reply here!

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To;

JOEY: Yes, haha its a curry chicken post. and the curry chicken was good. yum. (:

Stranga: Soffia! you monyet sister. hahahahahaa

Syamira: HALIM ALSO KENTAL OKAY hahahahaa oops i forgot HEHEHEHEHE (:

Prav: yes you did! and you did a good job too. hahaha wait you did? OH righttt you did. haha

D'♥: I dunno. My mum cooked chicken curry that night! or is it curry chicken. haha whatever.

DICK: haha and dear dickson has to grow out of his ami-is-a-small-boy mentality. sec 3 was ages ago! 424 was the shizz.

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Okay, got malay homework+econs+maths+chemistry SPA to prepare for. so sad.

and.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

school sucks, really. I can't wait to get my life back.

2008-08-07T20:03:00.002+08:00

well, i'm actually here for the sake of updating.

I could just give in to the curry chicken waiting for me. i just could.

But no, i'm here, at the computer.

so, the opportunity cost of being at the com is nice hot chicken curry.

hmm, but i want to update. Pareto optimality means that i can't update without compromising nice hot chicken curry.

OOH how many moles of chicken curry did mum cook? what is the concentration of the chicken curry? or its MR? or its acidity in Ka/moldm^-3?

Or how do you differentiate the curry chicken?

But wait, how much curry has the chicken displaced? Or if the curry chicken travels at the speed of light, does it diffract at an aperture?

NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I DREAD PROMOS. AND WHAT ITS DOING TO ME.

SO maybe, today can be a break. something i really deserve. ):

Oh and Syamira, i am not kental, and not all guy bloggers are geeks haha nanti kau.

ok lah, i go eat the curry chicken now. haha.

2008-07-31T22:45:00.002+08:00

aiyah shouldn't be blogging today. but this is funny. i found it in Dinie's blog, who herself ripped it from some guy's blog. haha its screwed up peribahasas(for non-malay readers its screwed up malay idioms)

1) harapkan pagar, pagar takbole harap

2) carik-carik bulu ayam, lama-lama jadi shuttlecock

3) sepandai mana tupai melompat, akhirnya tak masuk olimpik juga

4) hendak seribu daya, taknak sudah

5) lembu punya susu, cap teh-ko dapat nama

6) ke mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke bawah

7) tiada rotan, pelempang berguna juga

8) di mana ada gula-gula, di situ ada gula-gula

9) gajah mati meninggalkan gading, harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggal dunia

10) berapa berat mata memandang, berat lagi seguni beras

11) cubit paha kanan peha kiri tak rasa apa-apa pun

12) diam2 ubi berisi diam2 orang bisu

13) sambil menyelam tengok kapal selam

14) sebab pulut santan binasa, sebab mulut habis pulut

15) kecil-kecil cili padi, kecil lagi biji cili

hahahahahhaahahha. Are Dinie and i the only losers who find this funny or is this the funniest malay shit ever. hahaha wooh. i will never look at the peribahasa question the same way again.

2008-07-30T20:57:00.004+08:00

Ok today i was dying. ahhh but i marched through it like the soldier i am. woo

The fever was burning my eyes. and the headaches were mercilessly confuzzling and kertwanging my head. ok i made those words up hahaha yeah.

Met Hisyam today. CJ sent him for AJ's Paradigma, some intelligent seminar thing. HISYAM AT AN INTELLIGENT SEMINAR! i laugh. haha but honestly, it was great to see the guy after quite long. KUMZ CLUB IS WHAT I NEED! and AJ ML meeting. barely survived through it. put on a facade though, as if everything was oh so lovely okie dokie pokie. didn't wanna spread the kemurungan virus. or the sickness, for that matter.

Such a ofiousbpsejf day.

ah so i came home, eyes still burning, head about to give way and explode. bathe.eat.slack.refuse to do work. gahh. then, i found the thing that made my day (maybe other than meeting hisyam, MAYBE) which was my adik's nonsense book! its like a school diary but he fills it with nonsense. SO FUNNY HEEHEE i love it , it made me laugh like a mongoose. (do mongooses laugh?) Didn't know he was this merepek.

Some entries:

1st February
Chinese New Year is OMG birthday

2nd February
meet OMG at Bishan National Park from 1534 to 2320

1st October
fasting and getting present by my teacher and get money and also cannot eat because i am fasting

3rd November
Footaksa room the floor to the ground no man want the job. Easter Bay into Vivocity is going to school

5th November
we will stay in Bedok City of Malaysia is being punch to the stomack and also bathe

1st January
I am primary 6
I am primary 6
you are the best
you are the turtle
and and and friends

2nd January
if u just realise
what i just realise

HAHA really made me smile bigbig. i think i look deranged now. Right, time to end my homework strike, i wanna be promoted go amifirdaus!

you are the best.
you are the turtle. (:

2008-07-27T17:51:00.002+08:00

Right. an update. haha.

Ok so hmm what has happened this past week. hmm.

hmmm. nothing much eh. so boring my life. i've been trying to revise for most of it la. Thurdsday i had training, but it raind after we had our run. The murderous fast-paced run. haha. on the 8th lane. Friday, had fun playing soccer after school with Jerms, Kendrick and Halim(wow, yes i played soccer with a mat hahahaaaha) and it was fun la. I swear Halim gets high from playing soccer. Or from being with Kendrick. haha OH and PTM! haha all the teachers said this same line:

"Ami has great potential, but he's always tired/sleeping/drifting away/dreaming/distracted by outdoor activities during his tutorials."

But i did realise that my teachers really do understand, and i hope they didn't just put up a show. When i got home, it was bad. Won't talk about it. Cikgu Raudah is in fact a good teacher. :o

Yesterday, was my PW meeting. It went well, but at the end, uh, very retarded, and me and Jerms laughed our asses off because of Adeline's plans to mutilate a "cork". nyahaha. ok.

TODAY WAS ZAKI'S SURPRISE(yeah right, who told him) PARTY! IT WAS IN A MOSQUE HAHAHA damn so weird lah, with the Uztazah's and mats around, and NABHAN WOAH he's much cooler and nicer now. woohoo! And i met Joey, Sat and Delima for the first time.

and Delima is really violent. hahahaha. She:

bashed my face with a bag of Doritos,
punched the bacxk of my head,
pullpullpull my ear
whack my arm >20 times
danced like a chicken in the mosque( haha okay this one is not violent)

OUCH, Delima, but its okay haha. I was bullied by a Madrasah girl. imagine that.

Okay, thats it lah, i'm quite tired, this arduous week has taken its toll on me. off to nap/do revision!

Oh and i made no. 5 up hahahhahaa

2008-07-20T02:09:00.004+08:00

okay BITCHES ami is back. (:

so much so much so much has happened. on Friday, 18th OF JULY (: haha erhemmm, I went for the inter-JC bahas finals between RJ and TJ with Farhanah, Syamira, Aisha and Iqbal with the Kampong TJ. And honestly, i am glad to say that TJ totally mopped the floor with RJ hahaha RJ were totally outclassed by the girls in green. Awesome job. SJI(glorious green) won RGS in inter-school bahas at secondary level as well, which means that:

GREEN IS THE COLOUR OF BAHAS THIS YEAR
Raffles is almost trophyless this year in Bahas, only Maryam won a Best Speaker award, but all the awards in the finall were won by TJ. total sweep man.

I was so happy and was shooting my mouth off. I didn't realise that Amelina and some RJ mats were behind me HAHAHA oh damn. who cares anyway. I offered some fries to the girls but I didn't know that they were fasting! hahaha shit. sorry!

So to sort of make it up to them, i buka-ed with them at Banquet. So funny. dapat berkenalan with the kampong TJ and got to see daun tempe ahahahahha i know most of you won't understand its better that way. haha. the daun tempe was so weird. Then we started to imitate Asyraf's lauighter and his serious face, so funny hahah we had a blast. Sorry la Asyraf, all in the name of gurau-ing okay no hard feelings hahaha (:

Then today, had OCIP presentation and a mini amazing race thingamajig around Little India. What a wild goose chase i tell you. and the temple visit kinda caught me off guard and the mass jaywalking was scary. hahahaha. okay. It was so tiring. I KO-ed once i rached home around 2.30 pm and only woke up at umm 7.40 i think hahaha yeah. So i just finished EoM shit.

Oh before i go, i have an announcement!

THE AJ ML BLOG HAS SHIFTED TO http://www.anakaj.blogspot.com/ OKAY KAMBENGS (: TAKE NOTE!

AJ GEREK! wooooh.

2008-07-14T23:22:00.002+08:00

okay. i know an update is long overdue. but life has been shit, with some ice-cream here and there. hahaha yeah its super hectic and i'm really lost now. Promos are drawing near. Fcuk.

okay but but but i'm surrounded by fun and awesome people so at least thats a plus. from 23/08 to MLDDS to Hockey to the Malay guys, and youuuu, thanks a lot. (:

OH NO I NEED TO STUDY omg okay bye.

2008-07-06T01:08:00.006+08:00

Okay hello! Yesterday(Since its past midnight) was the TPJC youth seminar! Had a blast because Miss Peha Guruh bte Takut MeeGoreng was beside me! And Farah too lets not forget haha( CMON TJ PEMBAHASERS DESTROY RJ WOOOH) okay.It was awkward at times too. They wanted us to discuss Arif Budiman stuff with people we don't know. I mean i'm not some anti-social but at least we should have ice-breakers or smth right? then they presented stuff, and we ate, and went home. AND I MET HANIS, AKHIM, AMELIA, HUDA, FAZ AND FIRDAUS IJ woohoo thats the part i love about the seminar. SOME PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE *COUGHhisyamCOUGH* but couldn't wake up. aiyoh.

Okay okay i'll talk more about it next time when Hani posts the pictures! Yes, Hani is my photobucket hehehehe(:

mmm okay so thanks to Hani, here are some pictures of last saturday's YMC outing! woohoo.

we were making fun of Hani and her phobia of mee goreng hahaha and Kikin finds it very funny apparently.

Muker smemek AJ boy meets Macho SA girl hahaha, two wrongs do make a right! (:

Hani, no need to sneak shots of me, you can ask hahahaha kidding lah (: Kikin looks so worried.

I can't remember why i was looking up. Nice shot anyways haha. I DON'T LOOK LIKE A MAT LAH ALAMAK.

I was camwhoring. Caught red-handed. and gigi senget-ed. hahaa

This is damn act cute why did i do that haha. I DID NOT THREAD MY EYEBROWS HANI!

i tried to take one more but i broke out into laughter. maybe cos i saw Hani's face HAHAHA kidding lah (:

At MNG. What a goofy smile.

Hani can't get over the fact that she used to be taller than me. Sec 1 is so long ago haha.

Jannah, Me, Syed and Hani! Jannah looks so chinese in this one. Not in picture: Syeek, Adel, Kikin and Faris. What a fun Saturday.

Okay, as Hani would say it on MSN, DAH HABEZ! okayokay Got Darul Ma'wa carnival thing later today, gotta go sleep now. Goodnight! (: